It’s 8am when I mix NyQuil and coffee, knowing
getting out of bed can be just the same as staying in.
It’s sort of like how kind words sound profane
when they’ve just bout lost there meaning.
Washing my face, have I reused this puppy dog look
one too many times that all that’s left is ugly?
I’ve made mistakes before, though this, it feels different, or
is it exactly the same one I make every time I lock the door?
It’s like hearing the front gate slam shut
then looking out the window, only to see yourself walking away.
The brain sends signals to the mouth—consider screaming—
but what’s a voice without an ear of reason?
What’s the point of footnotes, when you’re drawing them in chalk?
And even though it doesn’t rain that often, on good days it does.
So brushing yellow teeth, I spit blood into the sink
then cough a couple times before padding down the hall.
Now slouching towards the sunlight, it’s effortless this pain.
These calluses remind me that I’m doing the right thing.
Milling about I feel nothing, so it’s now I know to leave.
That rainbow in the sky, oh how it bends before it bleeds.
By the time I catch myself at the corner
and reattach this shallow darkness to my feet,
it’s a cool, crisp sort of day, where the smog smells sweet.
It’s a cool, crisp sort of silence, watching traffic in the street.
It’s a cool, crisp morning.
And I’ve no reason to complain.