Sometimes
—mostly—
alone
is better.
Nobody
gets hurt
—sometimes—
mostly.
Monthly Archives: November 2019
Tears of sorrow.
Tears of sorrow.
Tears of joy?
I don’t
differentiate
anymore…
Like puppetry two marionette
I took her to this art event
She took me to her motel bed
Like puppetry two marionette
We tangled up our strings
Her eyes were wide like Eleanor
Rigby she was fiction for
The life I’d led a year before
I hadn’t slept a wink
It’s comical how looks predict
The ludicrous and obvious
By circumstance we came to this
Offering by the sea
Her hair jet black like ravens beak
The padding of her size 6 feet
Lenore her name I said quite meek
This time then nevermore
It’s lyrical how time can tell
Who’s heaven sent and living hell
An angel with a broken bell
Knows liberation’s free
Sometimes I think coincidence
Common sense and saying yes
Are infinite never in jest
Like cherry blossoms we
Sell ourselves a dollar short
Make amends and then spring forth
Pink petals fall on the seashore
There’s no telling what could be
An accident a sign from God
A work of faith handshake or nod
They’re simply an illusion on
The pleasure box we see
The message spoke ten times before
By Poe and his dear loved Lenore
Like love’s the end all message for
Both poetry and speech
So I took her to the airline that
Disagreed with both our backs
I mean this with no disrespect
It’s how some people meet
We never spoke another word
Jumped back into the universe
I came to grips was late for work
And landed on my feet
There’s this movie playing in my head
I never wanted to define you
Just wanted to walk calm beside you
But do I ever do a thing at all?
I never knew how to excite you
Just wanted to be like the fly who
Hung around loving your every move.
I never knew a second chance
As good as that first romance
A third time will only get you killed.
My palms are cold and sweaty now
It makes no difference any how
Like a has been actor thinking what’s the use?
I say it’s maybe
the way God made me
You say it’s crazy
that I’m this damn lazy
I’m addicted maybe
but it’s better this way
After awhile I’ll be all right
I’ll be alright, so.
I think I’ll watch the Super Bowl
Then re-runs of a TV show
Any distraction for two years will do.
I think I’ll start a private club
Then forget and invite everyone
Come one come all come make me feel good.
I never wanted to become
This ordinary silly chum
Up for hours feeling numb and blue.
There’s this movie playing in my head
There’s a plane a girl a detective
Who’s method acting’s got him nowhere new.
You say it’s maybe
the way God made me
And that hey baby
you’re a little lazy
but it’s better this way
this addiction’s crazy
After awhile you’ll be all right
You’ll be alright, so.
The thing that I am trying tell
The thing impossible to sell
A clear cut diamond people get confused.
I never wanted anymore
Than a reason to explore
The imperfections that I found in you.
Like that picture on the cellar door
A sad clown I just couldn’t ignore
His eyes were mine yes they were tried and true.
I wonder if no now I’m bored
I’ll take a couple then some more
Searching my pockets for my next excuse.
I mean anyone will do.
The game is rigged the money’s spent
If I stay in bed too long
dreaming of the times gone by
There must be something wrong
like not knowing what is right
If I get up and get gone
still daydreaming in the morning light
There must be something wrong
because all I see is black and white
Out there on the road
passing frowns can’t weigh me down
Like songs from days of old
freewheeling there’s no time to tell
She’s been reaching for the sun
did all I could to take her there
Must be doing something wrong
like two children we’re still unprepared
To walk
on our own
As state signs blur
on the road
Yet all this time
we have grown
There’s still this
phantom partner feeling
though we’re on our own.
When you go there’s still coming back
don’t be extreme like who needs that?
There must be something wrong
for me to feel like this and that
She was going either way
it didn’t matter if I saved the day
There must be something wrong
for me to think or feel this pain
Standing in the setting sun
which blinds me now casts shadows on
Reflections on the windowpane
my doppelgänger’s staring back at me
If looks could kill I’d live
my malice spite all gibberish
God knows if I could commit
I’d probably muck it up like a little kid
Whose ball
hits the rim
It bounces far
time and again
The game is rigged
the money’s spent
Yet there’s this
faint glimmer of hope
like there’s a chance to win.
I’m wishing well in vain.
Take this pill
another one
you’ll see tomorrow
the rising sun
it washes over
everyone
regardless of their creed.
If I sang to you
in metaphor
or parable
I must implore
the meaning that
your searching for
exists only in faith.
So sure yeah I’ll
take half a drag
if you could promise
no aftermath
you’re a stupid kid
if you think that
anyone’s playing for keeps.
We called it love
but it was more
her beauty filled
my eyes with warmth
the tears that spill
are evermore
like leaves on the fall breeze.
If I told you once
I’d tell you twice
it’s meaningless
yeah my advice
it’s hogwash still
I swill it down
like champagne I am cheap.
There’s no reason to hang your head
Or spend all day in your bed
Because some things you can’t change
No matter what nothing is sane
No regret is meaningless
I mean the thought alone is evidence
That people never change
No matter how near or far away
And Ritalin works wonders for
The child who must be ignored
If the class is to progress
There’s no time to spare in jest
At first it feels like an accident
Then tragedy cranes her neck
It’s a problem you can’t solve
Because there’s nothing to be solved
Nobody gets quite what they deserve
A coin toss isn’t so absurd
If your winning it makes sense
If not you up your bet
You know that feeling in your head
The one that tells you you’re ahead
Before the obvious is said
Before the obvious is said
So
Take me with
a grain of salt
the shaker’s spilled
on everyone
who’s ever lost
or ever won
the menu’s all the same.
And I’ll take it now
for what it’s worth
this death I feel
as a rebirth
now everyone
I ever hurt
I’m wishing well in vain.
die a King in your fantasy.
I don’t want to be a burden
I just wanna sit here and read.
So if that’s ok
then the band can play
I’ll look up a couple times to see.
Everyone who’s silently cursing
checking out the latest feed.
There’s someone I knew
from another life
I look away so they don’t notice me.
It’s a living, a hard living
the barista says while pouring cream
a couple swirls and a twist
now there’s a swan swimming in my drink.
Guess I never really felt like drowning
I just swam in this misery.
I guess I can’t complain
I made my bed
skipped my prayers
now I’m counting sheep.
Guess I never really felt like dying
just romanticized how life could be
it’s like a game of chess
you protect the Queen
and die a King in your fantasy.
Cause it’s a living, a hard living
it could be worse is a common phrase
a couple riffs then applause
now the band packs their noise and leaves.
If I have to take a vow of silence
plead the fifth in double time.
With all due respect
I think I must confess
I cracked up like a nursery rhyme.
Still I can’t sing that song without crying
so whatever shall be shall be.
I guess the world’s the same
rinse repeat complain
the punch line never hit with me.
So if you’re living, a hard living
here’s raising this glass to you
and if you’re worried, don’t worry
there’s bound to be an answer soon.
Cause baby I don’t wanna be a burden
I just want to write my poetry.
Because I’m not a rock
or an island but
ain’t that the only way to be free.
This Adam’s apple is proof of Eve
Did you think it would be that easy
just to walk away.
Like we were the 30th of April
now it’s the 1st of May.
The sun here is always shining
yet I still see rain.
I was California dreaming
just to numb the pain.
Awake
or asleep
It doesn’t really make a difference
Blue
or green
The ocean looks the same
Black
or white
Just pictures on a TV screen
You
and I
We’re searching for significance
I guess…
You had to make your move
like we were playing chess.
Across from one another
we are at our best.
Stuck between the sun and moon
like all the rest.
Before my Confirmation
I never did confess.
Up
or down
The world’s full of extremes
Then
or now
The choices never change
Commit
or don’t
Either way there’s so much pain
You
and I
We’re just finger painting our esteem
I guess…
Then a baby’s born
Then another one and then some more
While a preemie dies
It’s not her fault that he’s premature
Grief
or guilt
Both come in due time
Live
or die
Flip a coin put it aside
Bitter
or sweet
This Adam’s apple is proof of Eve
You
and I
Banished from that Garden
we couldn’t find.
Still, did you think it would be that easy
just to walk away?
It was cold that year I remember well
I fell in love with her smile
like I had a choice?
She looked me over hell
felt like a little boy
It was cold that year
I remember well
Tangled blankets and sheets
that old apartment smell.
I fell in love with her mind
like an Etch A Sketch
She threw so many bones
like we were playing fetch
It was cold that year
smoke on the fire escape
I drew her in black lines
then shook but couldn’t erase.
I fell in love with her body
like it was a toy
We’d make love for hours
then a little more
It was cold that year
with Manhattan in view
We counted down from 10
New Years on Pia’s roof.
Ain’t it a trip life
you work just to get away
She fell so many times
I’d pick her up and say
You choose the road anywhere
let’s take a drive
Coast to coast man
we died to feel alive.
There’s a scrapbook somewhere
it’s unfinished but proof
That true love exists
and it’s in me and you
A crazy beautiful thing now
baby that’s the truth
I’ll finish it one day
till then this’ll have to do.
I fell in love with her eyes
bewitched under spell
At the flick of a switch
I could turn heaven to hell
If looks could kill honey
stare come on I’m your guy
I never loved her more
than when I wanted to die.
I fell in love with her soul
as she burned the sage
Expelling demons like a shaman
she was young and brave
It was cold that year
at the Macy’s parade
Her face covered in scarf
a perfect picture to take.
I fell in love with her frown
just to turn it around
I fell in love with her ups
just to carry her downs
It was cold that year
I remember now
The first night she slept
next to me safe and sound.
Ain’t life a gas man
you work just to get away
You get away then go home
wishing that you’d stayed
One more day in a motel
somewhere new
They’re always coming man
those damn check out blues.
There’s a memory somewhere
to take me back
Always underdressed and upset
baby that’s a wrap
I remember it all like it was yesterday
That’s why I wake up in love
with each and every day.
Nonsense
I was thinking how peculiar
right before I made a U turn
It was early Sunday morning
flashing sirens without warning
Looking both ways like a child
crossing with chicken on the road
there is this man who looks me up
and down as I begin to sigh
Then I look in both direction
turn the wheel with cruel intention
In the distance there’s this woman
picket signs read save the children
I am half way home before I know
exactly what I’m doing though I
stop the car unlock the door
and let the woman in
She sits criss-cross like a virgin
while I drive off she is urgent
I don’t know what you are thinking
she speaks softly without blinking
I was waiting for the bus when you
rolled up I must confess I recognized
your eyes from times gone by
like strangers on a train
It is awkward for a second
can I interest you in breakfast
She says sure she knows a diner
while she applies her eye liner
There’s a group of old men standing
with dead babies and demanding
that a women’s right is not all right
unless they’re in control
I’ll have coffee she’ll have coffee
yes please thank you two black coffee’s
In her teeth stuck there’s a poppy
seed my breath smells quite like onion
As the man from earlier walks by
the window just in time to see
again with no expression just a
long tedious sigh
He must think of me how boring
flashing sirens without warning
I feel seasick like a sailor
hey can you do me a favor
And that’s when she asks
to take her back in time for
her divorce of course she’d
first prefer some pie
On the drive home I was thinking
how peculiar she left winking
Shut the door then started walking
while I drove off she was talking
To the man who looked familiar
from the corner of my eye though
when I looked away then back again
they both just sort of sighed
Passing by the old cathedral
doors open releasing people
From their suffering they’re smiling
shaking hands exchanging sighs and
Across the street there’s signs
that read like jokes inside my mind
there’s men and women who protest
the earth is flat next to another group
who all claim there is no God.
Words Of An Average White Male 