Learning now to live alone
The air is still, bitter, cold
As time tells which way to go
I’ll keep warm inside a poem
Learning now to live alone
The air is still, bitter, cold
As time tells which way to go
I’ll keep warm inside a poem
Memories
are brutal
in their infancy,
much more
beautiful in
their adolescence,
yet quite more
honest
in their maturity
are memories
bound to our being
like shadows cast
on a garden wall
where a rose bush
bent, stands crutched
to a stake of wood,
delicate are it’s thorns
our memories
they too are.
Under her face
somewhere under there
was her face, though
she didn’t show it often
I’d seen it before
in the morning light
before the sun skewed
her senses and
she’d cover it up with lies
littered with freckles
hard jaw and subtle age lines
as if two crows took a tango
on the corners of her brown eyes
and when she’d turn
away from the mirror, falling
effortlessly into my arms
I could barely hold her up
for she was far more strong
than any weight I could bear
and her face made that clear
as she’d slowly cover up
everything that made
her beautiful.
At the same time
everything is happy
everything is sad,
it’s where I’m at
and somehow
it isn’t all that bad.
Smile and a frown
features remain neutral
while cars pass down
Magnolia and “Córdoba,
Leyana y sola…”
my home
is just
an illusion
under cloud.
She’s
artificial berries
passing in the wind
smiling and joking
contemplating
sea salt
or vinegar
laughing with a friend
while she pretends
to listen I grin
because her
artificial smile
and posture a 10
in the long run
really
makes no difference.
Nobody
changes.
We just learn
to limit
who we allow
in our lives
according to
their anxiety
provoked.
Don’t get me wrong
people can change
but
nobody changes
the way
you want them to,
nor should they
unless…
Nah, nobody
changes.
The older I get
the more I appreciate
the friends I had
in my formative years
who were fun, jovial, excited
who were wild, eager, and never boring
who never gave a damn
whether or not
life was right or wrong
who just kept singing and
keep on singing
3,000 miles east and
even when I’m out of tune
I’m still fondly listening
to the chorus.
I woke up today
glad that I did
with crippling
back pain and
Tylenol fix
but as I sit here now
heat pack in place
hardly able to walk
drink without chase
—karma’s a bitch—
but I’m glad I woke up
if just now to say
I’m glad I woke up
regardless the pain.
You can’t win
because it’s life
and there’s
nothing to win
just death
and then
whatever it is
you believe
will happen next.
For me I’ll be
reincarnated
to live
another life.
I just hope it’s
as strange
and weird
and cruel
and wonderfully
disastrous as
this one.
Maybe one
with less love
and more
true love.
Maybe not.
It’s been a long
sour day
that I’ve been
sucking on
Cracking
my teeth
chewing rocks
and trying
to care
I’m better than this
but as I said
it’s been a long
sour day
Looking forward
to tomorrow
tonight even
for something sweet.