As If We Existed

It wasn’t ever fun

Even when it lasted

There was always hidden

A motive and agenda

Something I couldn’t figure from afar—

I needed microscopic certainty

That I’d have to disappear

In order to remember—

For them to forget—

That either of us had ever existed

Our Love Never Wasn’t

I haven’t seen you in a long time, to be frank I’m enjoying the silence.

I can’t commit to the truth it lies, cause it feels kind of like we are dying.

If I made you blue, I never wanted to.

It’s just love and our love never wasn’t.

There’s disappointment in her eyes, as he speaks she echos with silence.

Neither one is good at goodbyes still they always seem to be trying.

I will remember you, if you remember too.

It’s just love and our love never wasn’t, it’s just love and our love never wasn’t.

There’s a melody, in a harmony.

It’s just love and our love never wasn’t.

He sang to her a lullaby, she did all she could to stop crying.

They fell asleep in the moonlight, just two heartstrings played on violin.

Some day you’ll see, in a memory.

It’s just love and our love never wasn’t.

Flipping Birds

The only places to go now

Are those best traveled alone

Where a fork in the road need

Neither argument nor discussion

And where judgements pass

With tumbleweeds and dust that

Dissolve like cars with the horizon

Thumbing South of nowhere

And flipping birds, eh

I’ll be just fine.

From the corner…

I can see you laughing from

the corner of your smile

And it’s not the kind of laughter that

means hang around a while

And it’s not the kind of laughter that

says let me lend a hand

It’s the kind of smile that

tells you to drop dead—

I can see you laughing from

the corner of your eye

And it’s not the kind of laughter

that is taken by surprise

And it’s not the kind of laughter

that breaks before it bends

It’s the kind of sideways glare

that kills you from within

Cause I can see you laughing

and I hope it serves you well

In corners we’re all suffering

but I’m not laughing now

What feels right is wrong

Do they make you feel less?

Overwhelmed and unimpressed

like being anywhere else would have

you feeling overdressed?

We always know the problem

but never how to solve them.

We offer salutations which

just form another problem—

When you’re left feeling more

like love’s less than a chore,

the answer’s in the subtlety

as subtle as before—

We always play along

like life’s a lonely song.

You’re singing to a choir if

what feels right is wrong.

What Could Possibly Matter More Than Meaning What You Don’t Have The Answers For?

What’s the point in asking the question

If your voice is already defeated

I’d go blind just trying to see it

You know everyone is trying to beat it—

If there’s pain then that means there’s a reason

If there’s truth then it’s hard to believe in

Still it’s hard not to relive this feeling

Where everyone everyone’s stealing—

It’s like selling your grief for a grievance

Why the hell would you even break even

Doing all we could to deceive them

It’s all wasted time wasting time healing—

It’s like playing pretend dressed in your skin

Or saying the pledge of allegiance

When there’s no one to please or believe in

It only matters as much as you mean it

333

Well I think that I just fell in love

I’m as sure as the stars up above

It happened here in Sedona

I watch the red rocks and the sun

Paints your skin oh Olive I love

Your warm bright eyes Hallelujah

I think the sun and the moon have aligned

And in a total eclipse we do shine

And when you call me yours I believe you

Now this is true love to complete you

Well I think that I just fell in love

It happened again in Cassadaga

We heard the tires scream help me my god

Then you held his hand call 911

And like an angel you gave him your love

I watched you calm his breath Hallelujah

I think the sun and the moon have aligned

And in a total eclipse we do shine

And when you call me yours I believe you

Now this is true love to complete you

Real Life.

We did nothing that we said we’d do

And everything we said we wouldn’t.

Living like a road trip—

We’re so good at vacations, yet

So terrible at real life.

drunks and dreamers

I like to sit, in long

Wakes of silence

And write cowboy songs

For drunks and dreamers

Who know better

And are better—

Who are better off alone.

Hotel Room

Sitting in this hotel room, waiting for the sun to rise.

Looking out across Portales, there’s not a single star in the sky.

I don’t know if she’s thinking of me, but I know I’m thinking of her.

All the times we never got it straight, all the times I didn’t put her first.

Sitting in this hotel room, tried but couldn’t fall asleep.

Spent all of my cash on Johnny, cause he’s a better man than me.

I don’t know if she’s thinking of me, but I know I’m thinking of her.

All the times we never got it straight, all the times I didn’t put her first.

It’s a long drive West.

And I’m on my own.

She said do your best.

Know you’re not alone.

Sitting in this hotel room, wondering if I made a mistake.

Gotta find what I’ve been missing, and bring it back to her to keep.