it’s beautiful really
how nobody gets what they want
yet everyone gets what they deserve.
everyone’s gotta act so tough
when they know nothing of that’s pure
everyone’s gotta be so right
nobody has time anymore to be unsure.
well, I’ve given the better half of my existance
over explaining myself and inconsistent
I admit—but we play the parts we choose.
and I haven’t an apology left except
that one for myself, left by myself
for all those times I became the pillow,
the pillow to cushion the fall—
see after I gave up wanting to be saved
I realized that all that time, I was the cause
of all those wasted nights.
of all those broken mornings
picking up the pieces of myself
and cutting my hands on those of another.
it’s ugly really
how vulnerability’s questioned, but never heard.
how weakness is hardened, rather than healed.
how it feels happier to be alone
in the company of strangers,
than unrecognizable in the company you keep.
it all becomes so ugly
that it’s beautiful.