love and pain

One day you will wake up

to find yourself very successful

or very much alone.

If you are lucky enough

you might even wake to both.

Whom ever is next to you on that day

try your best not to create

a fiction to deny your current state,

and choose wisely your diction

each time you fall back to sleep.

Do not make this common mistake,

going to sleep as means to dream.

Rather wake up knowing love and pain

can not survive without the other.

Love is…

Love is not

holding someone back

Love is helping them

get to where they want to go.

So if it seems your Love is gone,

take comfort in that

Love is sacrifice.

Love is sacred.

Love is not holding yourself back

for love.

It is not a cage, nor game to conquer.

Love is to be shared.

Bukowski said, “love is a dog from hell.”

Someone else said love is kind.

Another, love is blind.

Love is giving her their chance

Love is taking mine.

This is it.

If I could start over

it wouldn’t

make a difference.

This is it.

This is how

it was always

meant to be.

Like Greek Mythology,

three sisters

have spun, measured, and cut

my fate.

I no longer hum

those daytime dirges,

but in sleep hear brilliant concerto’s

covered by the night.

measured in peanuts

It takes more courage
to know your worth
and walk away
than to stay, resentful
knowing that your worth
is being measured in peanuts

pain and suffering

If all you have learned from pain and suffering, is pain and suffering, you may not have been paying close enough attention. It’s easier than not to be distracted by pain in the midst of true suffering. And true suffering can come and go like an univited guest whom you immediately tell to leave, but pause for a moment. Instead of shunning, try welcoming it. If you can listen long enough, you will understand that all your pain and suffering is valid, and in turn more valuable than a room full of welcome guests. It can teach you many things but first you must learn how to listen and that in itself is yet another form of pain and suffering, one that with patience, and practice, can be somewhat managable. It all just depends on who’s speaking because your pain and suffering is not mine, and mine is not yours, but if you listen closely I believe you’ll see we aren’t so different, we aren’t nearly as alone.

a caged dove

Not all the people
you need, can stay
in your life for keeps
they too have places to be
thay can’t always, always be
it gets easier to juggle
some days, others
it’s impossible, until
you’re able to see
that need was never meant to be
your burden, so it’s yours to release
if and when you can
like a caged dove
whose only wish it is to fly
into that holy land.

a cat cradling yarn

Don’t fool yourself
I’m always listening
like a cat cradling yarn
I can get tangled too
but understand this
I have not the time
nor patience, for hollow eyes
or condescending felines,
who’ve been cute in their foolery
though you sir, are not
so as I walk away, I thank you
for your time, believe it or not
I’ve been listening my whole life,
and you’re a tangled mess
that I refuse to fool myself into believing otherwise.

Pillow Talk

Alone, is where

everything makes sense.

It is all the other times

that haunt me!

But I’m sleeping better now,

with a few lone nightmares

tucked under my pillow.

Just in case

I get lost in a dream again.

Just in case

I forget how to wake.

Will you, be there to haunt me?

Or have I just been alone

after all this time?

Whether or not you noticed, partner!

I’m kneeling where I stand.

alone, reading quietly

I saw you today,

behind the page of a book you sat

hair tied back in a tight pony,

legs crossed in black leggings

corderoy red dress and bomber jacket.

But I knew better than to say hello.

We’ve been there before, and you

looked like you were doing just fine

sitting alone, reading quietly

commuting to work

or whatever it is you do now.

harbored resentment

It is always evident
that harbored resentment,
like the sharp bite of a cavity
it comes and goes depending,
and like a hole in the tooth
digging deeper, it spreads
into the root like a cancer,
with no more reason than
that shit happens, and happens
and will continue to bloom
like the wakening of Spring
or an Autumn river bed
so isn’t it evident, when
it is time to let that harbored resentment
set sail back into the open vacant sea.