We lose—only—what we must
allow ourselves to lose,
regardless of the pain
and suffering we choose, to lose
and to gain—
to have what it takes,
to further ourselves
to a better tomorrow.
to lose and to gain
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Footnote: to Regardless of the election.
For the majority of my adult life I have lived in impoverished communities, mainly because it’s what I am able to afford. I have seen, felt, and heard the cries of both men and women, alone in gutters, pulling the arms of children onward to a life not many of us will ever lead. Some of course have made choices leading them down this path, others are facing hard times, but I see the majority of them, just as I see myself, as I see my loved ones, as common people. So regardless of the outcome of an election, regardless of the winning or losing side, I still see many men, women, and innocent children who will continue to suffer either way. I do my best to spare what little I have to offer, be it a dollar or two, a bottle of water, or even a smile which seems to go even further than the former because at least they know that they are seen, and like so many of us often feel, we like those less fortunate are not forgotten. So just be a decent person, treat people with dignity and respect, regardless of their current standings in life. Do what you can to leave the world a better place than it was yesterday. And be well, my friends. Be humble and aware. And give more than you receive, when possible. With love, gratitude, and thanks to all who’ve graced my path, and who I continue to think of daily.
A kick in the head!
I will always be curious
and allergic to cats.
Ain’t that a kick in the head!
I’m sorry my friend.
I wanted to help you
but hurt you instead.
The least I can say is
I’m sorry my friend.
The most I can do is
tell you I’m here,
no matter the distance
though waters aren’t clear,
it’s times like these—
a balloon in the air—
to let yourself go completely
and live not in fear.
You’re worth more than you know
I know this my friend
so follow your heart, and
try to understand.
I wanted to help you
but hurt you instead.
The least I can say is
I’m sorry my friend.
Tell me a story
There’s a part of me
that see’s this all clearly
like a child standing in a crowd
there’s really only one way out.
What is it that you see
it’s fine to disagree
why if the world’s mine oyster please
forgive me for the lack of belief.
I had this faith in you
I thought you had it too
how many smiles does it take to show
the unhappiness we grew to know.
Do you take this hand
would you understand
lighting matches just to prove you could
did it ever do you any good?
Tell me a story, one without love, cause it’s taken me for granted so many times—enough.
There’s a part of you
engrained in me now
I’d be a liar if I didn’t admit
it’s a piece I won’t ever regret.
So what’s the point of these prose
and insecurity poems
like a fish needs water to breathe
I guess it really isn’t up to me.
If this is just a passing feeling
I’ll agree to disagree then
watch the sun rise and fall once more
a couple hours then I’ll start the chore.
You see I know my problems
it’s not up to you to solve them
if I go out the Hemingway
like Kerouac first I’ll have my say so
Tell me a story, one without love, cause I’ve taken you for granted so many times—c’mon.
Tell me a story, one without love, cause it’s taken me for granted so many times—enough.
It’s all understandable. (for every no one who ever was)
To be honest
and be open
put yourself in
her hands like you’re a toy.
There’s a reason
for each season
pollen eaten
her wind cradles a boy.
They know nothing of us,
and we
know nothing of them.
We all
just sort of pretend.
We’re bitter still.
In the air there’s a bitter chill.
Like a car crash
I tell you that
it’s not too bad
we both just try not to stare.
In the glove box
there’s a snuff box
full of coupons
I keep in case that you cared.
The leaves on the ground,
remind me
how powerless that I am.
It’s natural to fall down,
we all
just sort of try to fit in.
Leave me alone, no don’t
leave me alone.
Memories fill my head
like waves
crashing down on the shore.
Just as soon as they hit
cast away
back to the ocean once more.
To be bitter
or be broken
understand that
this is for no one who ever was.
footnotes in nursery rhyme
Got up this morning ahead of my time
shook fear from my hair and tears from my eyes
took to the mirror and spoke to this guy
who said he knew me from before —
it’s there that he unlocked the door.
He gave me a sunrise he gave me his hand
he told me a secret I could understand
life isn’t a journey or destination
it’s your choice to choose to buy in —
for me it’s better not to win.
So I sharpened my memory and tore out his tongue
recycled the organ from which I’d dislodged
filled it with the secret and sealed it shut
if X marks the spot then I’m fine —
love’s just footnotes in nursery rhyme.
Connecting the dots which soon filled my head
aligned with ideas I spoke with each step
life ain’t no cake walk or deal with respect
it’s your throat or mine well of course —
I’d take mine to spare you the course.
It’s kill or be killed so I’m on my knees
no fear any longer just tranquility
it’s obvious ain’t it half hearted pity
runs deep like the roots of despair —
no one’s got the cure or should dare.
So with that in mind one swift hit should do
a hole in the head hell it ain’t nothing new
I was head over heals now I’m sinking through
the clouds which look soft from afar —
at the end of this there’s only dark.
With all things considered it’s lovely I guess
like spilled paint confetti this hole in my chest
I’ve dug it before since third grade I guess
my actions speak louder than words —
it’s all been a blessing and curse.
silent is the night
Happiness &
Sadness
bleed
into one
single
droplet, which
slowly
falls
from cheek
to chin, while
the sun sets
and small houses
glow
I’m reminded
it’s not over
yet —
silent is the night —
it’s still
so
far
from
the beginning.
what I heard.
If
true sadness
had a voice
she
wouldn’t say a word…
Just
telling you
what I heard.
Nonsense
I was thinking how peculiar
right before I made a U turn
It was early Sunday morning
flashing sirens without warning
Looking both ways like a child
crossing with chicken on the road
there is this man who looks me up
and down as I begin to sigh
Then I look in both direction
turn the wheel with cruel intention
In the distance there’s this woman
picket signs read save the children
I am half way home before I know
exactly what I’m doing though I
stop the car unlock the door
and let the woman in
She sits criss-cross like a virgin
while I drive off she is urgent
I don’t know what you are thinking
she speaks softly without blinking
I was waiting for the bus when you
rolled up I must confess I recognized
your eyes from times gone by
like strangers on a train
It is awkward for a second
can I interest you in breakfast
She says sure she knows a diner
while she applies her eye liner
There’s a group of old men standing
with dead babies and demanding
that a women’s right is not all right
unless they’re in control
I’ll have coffee she’ll have coffee
yes please thank you two black coffee’s
In her teeth stuck there’s a poppy
seed my breath smells quite like onion
As the man from earlier walks by
the window just in time to see
again with no expression just a
long tedious sigh
He must think of me how boring
flashing sirens without warning
I feel seasick like a sailor
hey can you do me a favor
And that’s when she asks
to take her back in time for
her divorce of course she’d
first prefer some pie
On the drive home I was thinking
how peculiar she left winking
Shut the door then started walking
while I drove off she was talking
To the man who looked familiar
from the corner of my eye though
when I looked away then back again
they both just sort of sighed
Passing by the old cathedral
doors open releasing people
From their suffering they’re smiling
shaking hands exchanging sighs and
Across the street there’s signs
that read like jokes inside my mind
there’s men and women who protest
the earth is flat next to another group
who all claim there is no God.
Words Of An Average White Male 