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So it’s your last day, aye!
Then you’re off the hook,
sayonara! ur revoir!
c’est la vie!
365 days of poetry
is no minor feat, especially
the third time around, Geez—
to say your daily musing will be missed
would be an understatement, I admit
I’m guilty of my daily dose, except—
Char, you’ve got moxie.
(“and that’s what I appreciates most about you”)
So when the clock strikes twelve
full of champagne cheer, Hark!
Hear, Hear! That firework’s for you
and a happy, Happy New Year!
now dazzling light
explores my vision
with daylight eyes
i see
just when it seems to get a little easier
I see an old, old man hardly able to walk
who cannot understand the restroom sign
whose daughter struggles to explain
and whose wife knows less than he—
watching this I realize how very easy I have it
and how very able I should be.
just when it seems to get a little easier
I sit here aimless as an empty hand
begging for tomorrow, just to forget today—
but I’ve seen enough to know
my drama’s just a traveler’s thought
wasted (but not wasted) at the airport
i never intended
to live so many lives
or to be so many people
shifting from desire
to return to myself—
filling my cup with
the strangest confetti
the universe allowed—
only to end upside down
intoxicated by the unavoidable
purity
to exist without existing
if i could live with someone’s hope
forever till we part
i’d at least be able to see
beyond the ashes on my fingertips
and the cough tucked under-sleeve,
perhaps then maybe i could sleep?
longer than it takes to wake and find
who i’m not, or who i’d rather be—
cause it’s such a drag to smile
then to give a laughing nod,
that even when i do it’s like
my mind just says enough—
so when sitting becomes quiet
with my shadow and the curb
i hear within the darkest corner
that hope i don’t deserve.
and if i know you well enough
i know you’ll disagree,
still hopelessly devoted to
this god damn ghost of me.
and it’s hardly ever good enough
in retrospect you’ll see
that hope distilled in all of us
is that in which i bleed—
That dark wave I told you would come
has in fact come, and come courageous.
It knows my tricks and secrets.
It knows my truth’s a liar.
But I knew that he would come,
I taunted him in fact—believing
my Whale worries—Bah!
There’s never peace here,
only in oblivion.
And at the crest of this wave
I know there’s a break—
long enough to catch
my breath.
Then another.
And after that wave,
another death.
There’s no denying that’s a pretty face
There’s no excuse still for being late
The corner store’s got a sale on
Greeting cards that sell have price love
There’s truth in breathing at an even pace
There’s beauty bending to bear the weight
Now either way you feel overwhelmed
Exchanging coffee for whiskey now
I’ve got a big bad wolf of a habit
Full of hot air and over dramatics
Got a house built solely of glass when
I huff and puff well nothing happens
I gave her cashmere for Christmas once
She gave me friendship when I had none
There’s proof in putting a sweater on
The back of someone you’re giving up
I’ve got a big bad wolf of a habit
Full of disdain for love when I have it
Got a house built solely of glass and
No stones left to throw just ashes ashes
What a bore it is
To see yourself
Reflected in the eye
Of another’s
Lonesome smile
Where you can see
The charade
Designed like a maze
Where nobody gets out
And everyone’s stuck—
Feeling most unwell
Some days it’s a blessing
Others it’s a curse
Today’s a bit of both
I’ll only make it worse—
Perhaps this awful feeling’s
A 50/50 split
We balance our emotions
Like Humpty Dumpty did
But come on little Lucy
Fairies don’t exist
The sky ain’t full of diamonds
Your LSD is shit
If proof deserves a reason
I’m aimless as a kid
The message in the pavement
It’s cold covered in spit—
On days that it’s a blessing
Send someone for the hearse
When truth sounds like confession
On those days it’s a curse
Give me a second just to catch my breath
You’re cold as the Winter gonna catch your death
Each morning’s a race you better hold me down
I watch as you paint away your lovers frown—
Night falls quicker when you try to conceive
Words without action make you hard to believe
Was my first impression just a go around
Replaced by the fiction of this hippie town—
Excuse my suggestion for removing hearts
Release this suspension and we fall apart
Her name’s in your mouth like a cherry twist
My faith felt outsmarted by your lovers kiss—
So give me a second my world’s upside down
Revolving around this fucking city now
A due course of action is a simple fix
It’s easy to see now that I’m not transfixed
Words Of An Average White Male 