One day
When ready
I’ll tell you a story.
A story of a boy
Who never stopped running.
I’m just not ready
To break your heart.
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A Tale of Two Cities—Broken from Birth
People were always
Dying to get in, or
Dying to get out.
Nobody ever wanted
To be where they were—
And it was always that way—
It was A Tale of Two Cities.
Cruel and hostile, broken
From birth—The bread
When shared, had long since spoiled.
So left were the people’s
Disgruntled denial, who’d sacrifice
Even their own mothers love—for lies—
Because, the truth was tough
and too hard to swallow.
And it was never their fault.
But neither was it His.
These Veil Thin Times
What I’ll never have answers for
Happened in the split of a second
And broke me for a lifetime in two
I can pick up the pieces sometimes
Mostly I have the strength, except
These other sometimes when
It all comes pouring out, when words
Make sense just enough to suffer again
A little less each time, though time
Time is often wearing me veil thin—
Like a dusting of snow covers ice—
I’m that unsuspecting victim
Trudging through a never ending dreamscape
Sidestepping, cautious through life
I allow the teachings of the past to help guide my future.
After a good, long day of self reliance, sleep, and in depth personal analysis, I am left with this thought.
What you do from here on out is your own cross to bear.
Though like a broken record I’ve continued to circle in place.
But why?
Einstein said, “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
Well, though I agree I’m no Einstein, I’m not insane, I’m just a bit of a slow learner.
See, the hardest pattern to break isn’t necessarily the pattern but the mission so to speak.
We’re all on our own personal mission, aren’t we?
And whether or not we choose to accept it, it exists.
It’s taken many years through trial and error, deliberation, and self reliance to understand.
Carole King said, “you’ve got to get up every morning with a smile on your face and show the world all the love in your heart…”
Carole also had two children by the time of her divorce and continued to create with love and compassion.
So what’s my personal mission? And what’s yours?
Will we rise tomorrow with faith and gratitude in our hearts or repeat the same patterns that no longer serve us?
Olmec said, “the choices are yours and yours alone.”
But of course we all need a few humorous anecdotes to help us get through.
And I will, as will you.
Tomorrow, reach a little further than you did today. Try something new and show the world the love in your heart. The choices are yours.
And I’ve built my cross, one which I’m willing to bear.
It’s a heavy son of a gun, but I assure you I’ll be walking, hand over foot—that which does not kill us, makes us stronger— like Nietzsche once said.
Cupid’s always looking in
This life’s a beautiful disaster penned one summer long ago
I mean who was I kidding just a kid on the East Coast
So I took my car and drove off found myself out on the road
I was so sure I was different but so scared of letting go
Had this girl her name was pure like it was written in the stars
I first met her in the backseat of my good friends mother’s car
And I don’t quite know how it happened tangled alone in the dark
But she showed me true compassion for a badly broken heart
And if you ever saw the way her fingers danced upon my hand
Love’s an infinite reminder I just couldn’t understand
She was beautiful regardless of the way things had to end
I’m just happy to have seen her grown and happy as a friend
Somewhere before and after I had lost my innocence
Was a child when I said come on let’s go what’s happening
Like a judge biting my tongue so long held on to my defense
Till one day it all poured out like a volcano from my head
You talk too much don’t talk enough try this paper and pen
I think that it’ll help to write it down is what she said
And of course guess what it happened but this time in a kitchen
We were kindred drunk and carefree at first sight I do admit
I wasn’t looking for a lover in retrospect needed a friend
But that’s the way it happens Cupid’s always looking in
When she took me without question I knew something had to give
Had more talent in her pinky than I swear I ever did
And she tried hard to convince me I was good at fitting in
Still my anger got the best of me and then the fear to live
See it took 6 months of depression just to make one decision
I would have should have could have now son that’s no way to live
I thought if I just disappear perhaps I’d be no one’s burden
But learned life is a disaster that you somehow have to live
So I packed my bags one day and gave myself unto the wind
Hell I’ve been kicking rocks forever so I’m hella used to it
See there’s no way of ever knowing how tomorrow’s gonna end
You just get up brush your hair and then go do it again
Still love’s an infinite reminder I’ve tried so hard to understand
It always makes more sense when you’re left with empty hands
Like a psychic I am reading all the lines riddles and man
I can see it all so clearly first accept yourself and then
Maybe you get lucky one day in Central Park
Or perhaps while spilling coffee on a stranger after dark
There’s a reason for each season as one ends one’s soon to start
It only takes a moment kiddo ready on your mark
It’s all understandable. (for every no one who ever was)
To be honest
and be open
put yourself in
her hands like you’re a toy.
There’s a reason
for each season
pollen eaten
her wind cradles a boy.
They know nothing of us,
and we
know nothing of them.
We all
just sort of pretend.
We’re bitter still.
In the air there’s a bitter chill.
Like a car crash
I tell you that
it’s not too bad
we both just try not to stare.
In the glove box
there’s a snuff box
full of coupons
I keep in case that you cared.
The leaves on the ground,
remind me
how powerless that I am.
It’s natural to fall down,
we all
just sort of try to fit in.
Leave me alone, no don’t
leave me alone.
Memories fill my head
like waves
crashing down on the shore.
Just as soon as they hit
cast away
back to the ocean once more.
To be bitter
or be broken
understand that
this is for no one who ever was.
till death
we mustn’t
die
broken hearted
but rather
live
loving life
till
death
do us part
rand0m th0ught #103
broken doesn’t necessarily mean
waiting to be fixed
Mountain & Molehill
I climbed the Mountain and broke my ankle on the Molehill.
I no longer see the difference between,
watching my step like a raccoon in the night.
Broken Men, Broken Women
Good men
Are broken
By broken women
Born of broken mothers
By broken fathers
Who’ve broken
Good women
