Grains Of Sand

There’s nothing you can do for me,

that I can not do for myself.

Your little brother’s gonna be,

a burning light or living hell.

See all these insecurities,

are what keep him from getting help.

It makes no difference don’t you see,

either way I’ll be wishing you well.

There’s something I can do for you,

that surely once was done for me.

See your kid brother understands,

only what is in his hands.

Without these insecurities,

he wouldn’t have the strength to stand.

It’s like I’ve said this all before,

just grains of sand through my hand.

Halfway Even (a recording)

You wake up feeling halfway even almost like you fit in this place, your conscience pleads the fifth.

Your memory like some orphaned son who keeps quiet around everyone.

You walk down sidewalks thinking forward then it’s back to the past, your lifetime’s just a myth.

Did it start when you were young, believing you could fool everyone?

It’s your own cruel addiction holding on to their suspicion, no one is who they say they are.

It’s all you know so it’s just become the way you are, broke down before it even starts.

You play with people’s feelings using them to fill in the cracks, running through your head.

Are you good enough for them, believing that you could fit in?

It’s your lack of intention becoming part of their invention, no one is who they say they are.

It’s all you know so it’s just become the way you are, broke down before it even starts.

Ashes to Ashes

There’s no denying that’s a pretty face
There’s no excuse still for being late
The corner store’s got a sale on
Greeting cards that sell have price love
There’s truth in breathing at an even pace
There’s beauty bending to bear the weight
Now either way you feel overwhelmed
Exchanging coffee for whiskey now
I’ve got a big bad wolf of a habit
Full of hot air and over dramatics
Got a house built solely of glass when
I huff and puff well nothing happens
I gave her cashmere for Christmas once
She gave me friendship when I had none
There’s proof in putting a sweater on
The back of someone you’re giving up
I’ve got a big bad wolf of a habit
Full of disdain for love when I have it
Got a house built solely of glass and
No stones left to throw just ashes ashes

Broken Hearts in Four Parts

Give me a second just to catch my breath

You’re cold as the Winter gonna catch your death

Each morning’s a race you better hold me down

I watch as you paint away your lovers frown—

Night falls quicker when you try to conceive

Words without action make you hard to believe

Was my first impression just a go around

Replaced by the fiction of this hippie town—

Excuse my suggestion for removing hearts

Release this suspension and we fall apart

Her name’s in your mouth like a cherry twist

My faith felt outsmarted by your lovers kiss—

So give me a second my world’s upside down

Revolving around this fucking city now

A due course of action is a simple fix

It’s easy to see now that I’m not transfixed

Our Love Never Wasn’t

I haven’t seen you in a long time, to be frank I’m enjoying the silence.

I can’t commit to the truth it lies, cause it feels kind of like we are dying.

If I made you blue, I never wanted to.

It’s just love and our love never wasn’t.

There’s disappointment in her eyes, as he speaks she echos with silence.

Neither one is good at goodbyes still they always seem to be trying.

I will remember you, if you remember too.

It’s just love and our love never wasn’t, it’s just love and our love never wasn’t.

There’s a melody, in a harmony.

It’s just love and our love never wasn’t.

He sang to her a lullaby, she did all she could to stop crying.

They fell asleep in the moonlight, just two heartstrings played on violin.

Some day you’ll see, in a memory.

It’s just love and our love never wasn’t.

Hotel Room

Sitting in this hotel room, waiting for the sun to rise.

Looking out across Portales, there’s not a single star in the sky.

I don’t know if she’s thinking of me, but I know I’m thinking of her.

All the times we never got it straight, all the times I didn’t put her first.

Sitting in this hotel room, tried but couldn’t fall asleep.

Spent all of my cash on Johnny, cause he’s a better man than me.

I don’t know if she’s thinking of me, but I know I’m thinking of her.

All the times we never got it straight, all the times I didn’t put her first.

It’s a long drive West.

And I’m on my own.

She said do your best.

Know you’re not alone.

Sitting in this hotel room, wondering if I made a mistake.

Gotta find what I’ve been missing, and bring it back to her to keep.

Santa Monica

I guess we drank wine, I don’t recall but a Polaroid tells me we did.

I lost track of time, all around me the world continued to spin.

Not like you were mine, I just talked to you when you came around.

I guess it was kind, of like two kids on a merry-go-round.

You wrote me a letter, from Santa Monica in June.

You said you felt better, and that you thought I’d like it too.

Come in December, and we could write poems in the park.

Then there was that blizzard, that left New York alone in the dark.

I was alone in the dark.

I guess that it’s time, to burn these memories you left behind.

I never did find, a more honest friend or a beautiful mind.

I hope that you found, the world that you set out to see.

And know that I’ll be, singing this from across the sea.

The Price You Pay For Being Born

A couple days of patience

and a miners rest, she’s

Sleeping like a baby

in her Sunday’s best, I

didn’t wake her up

I was too forlorn, but

That’s what you get for being born—

I was taking out the trash

like the other weak, with

The temper of a mime

I began to speak, when

She woke she’d a fever

and a thousand words, I

Guess I’d spoken them all before—

Must be something in the water

cause I’m overboard, with

The seaweed and the starfish

dried out on the shore, it’s

Nothing I would suggest

drowning in a well, it’s

Just a way to be by yourself—

She dreamt of her family

from the outer space, and

Gave me a healing

full of peace and grace, but

I took it for granted

like most lovers do, it’s

Loud as hell in this quiet room—

Words form a meaning

if you spin them right, it’s

Like turning hay to gold

if it’ll save your life, so

Leave the baby in the basket

wrapped by your front door, it’s

The price you pay for being born—

Acting like you don’t know is an art in itself

It’s hard

To see

Out this pit

Of despair

When you’re down

On your knees

In the cold

Summer air

And it’s hard

To conceive

Memories

When you care

Looking for

What you lost

In a house

Built of mirrors

And it’s hard

When you know

All of this

Is a joke

Convinced

Or exposed

Either way

There’s a host

To obey

Or believe

In what you

See in me

That’s alright

It’s ok

Sip your honey

and tea

I just thought

You should know

I don’t know—

Yeah I know

Then only dust remains

I like listening to the sound

Of beautiful melodies

Ones I haven’t the heart to play

Ones I haven’t the strength to ignore

Mostly those that come in waves

After morning, noon, and night

You can hear them like catching

The glimpse of a shooting star

Barefoot atop San Jacinto

Bend Oregon or Williamsburg highrise

Naked in the ecstasy of flight

Knowing even as your approaching

You’ve already begun to disappear