If nothing, I knew better

Yes, I knew better

with every fiber of my being

I just couldn’t stop the show

even if I’d wanted to

The dancers danced regardless

while the showmen sang,

underpaid and underdressed

If nothing, I knew better

than to give them validation

or the contents of my soul.

Cassadaga, 2011

(This was me, 2:25pm, August 31, 2020—happy, and holy, and released)

It’s become abundantly clear through time and misfortune, not to be confused with the physical form such as money or objects, but rather with the exploration of self, the embodiment of peace, and the idea that expression can or should be limited or contained due of a value system built out of fear and intolerance.

Most of our lives we are given what can be thought of as a safety net of ideals—paths to follow, standards to meet—to make life “easier” or conducive to the perception of others.

Rather than present ourselves the way we deem fit, the general standard is to be as the chameleon—to do whatever it takes to fit in—who blends into its surroundings for survival.

Well, for myself, I’ve learned to accept and reject that pattern as it does not allow for growth.

I’ve grown everywhere from upside down to sideways and still have come to the conclusion that no matter how hard you try, there will always be a group, a banner, many men and signs who will make it their duty to mock one’s freedom of self.

I accept myself.

Further more, I applaud myself.

I look in the mirror and examine an ever changing life force composed of trial and error, love and appreciation, a life force who has exhausted himself to live his truth, that is…well…hell if I know!

I’m still figuring that out, one moment, one step, and one portrait at a time.

Thankfully enough, I’ve been blessed by an equal partner, a beautiful guiding spirit of light and love to help nurture my venture to freedom of self—Ariel Rachel—who does not judge but embraces my eccentricities as I honor and trust full heartedly in hers.

I highly recommend letting go of inhibition, being open and honest with yourself, others, and showcasing who you are, each and every day.

Be well my friends. I look forward to seeing you for everything that you are, today, tomorrow, and in future discoveries.

(This was me, 2:25pm, August 31, 2020—happy, and holy, and released)

2:25pm, August 31, 2020—happy, and holy, and released

A Balancing Act.

Systems.

The idea of systems haunts me as of late.

How everything, big or small,

basically has a system.

Intricacies, that

develop over time,

through trial and error,

and eventually form a path.

A system.

And if properly put to work, should work, right?

Shouldn’t it?

It should, yes, you’re right…
No…It…Wait, oh who gives a shit.
What are you even talking about?

Systems. I’m talking about systems.

Big deal dummy…
Google. Facebook. MSNBC.
Rent is due and you’re stuck thinking about systems?

So to every system there must be a creator.

Like playing God.

It’s no use.
This system is flawed!
All system’s are flawed…

If all systems are flawed,

there must be a fail-safe,

duct tape,

a conscience.

And if properly put to work, should work.

Shouldn’t it?

In a perfect world yes, but this is not a perfect world.

This is not a perfect system.

For many,

this is,

a balancing act,

that in public, seems rational, adjusted,

a well oiled machine, though

further research shows,

a haunting dilemma – difficult to admit

between two parties,

whom share the same skin.

Who share the same system.