whAt iM sAYIn iz

When you can’t flip the script

tear it to shreds

then start to letter together

a list of demands —

whAt iM sAYIn iz

— to extort the unexpected

and accept no less

than those shreds of life

tell you to deserve.

affliction or redemption

What’ll it be

said the man

on the stand

to the reflection

looking very grim

sunken eyes

of redemption

come on come on

choose our next addiction

this time though

be aware

aware of my remission

I know I know

what fun is there in that

hell why don’t we find out

it’s either or perhaps

I’ve given you the right

that now I’m taking back

the will to fight the urge

I know that’s what I lack

so taking down the mirror

with no one staring back

the man poured the reflection

with ice into his glass

he calmly took a sip

one more than another

and when the glass was empty

to him it did not bother

just one more

thought the man

understanding his reflection

it’s up to you to choose

affliction or redemption.

backward or forward

However many backward steps

you take today

tomorrow

take that many steps further along the way

because not everyday is a good one

nor is everyday bad, you see

I knew a man no different than

any other shapeless face

who kept on stepping backward

day after day after week after year

until he’d completely lost his way

you see, an inch becomes a foot

and a foot becomes a mile

it’s backward or forward that separates

the man from the grave.

till death

we mustn’t

die

broken hearted

but rather

live

loving life

till

death

do us part

that tiny speck of the world

people were funny like that

one minute you’d be hating them all

and the next you’d be falling in love

with every single one of em

because they were all beautiful

and ugly, starry eyed and wild

tolerating crazy with kindness

and even if not listening

just being there

made all the difference in

that tiny speck of the world

where nobody knew anyone more

than he or she even knew themselves

don’t think twice it’s alright

She said she had nothing to say

and the hard part was

that I kind of believed her.

She had it sometimes, this spark

but never really fleshed it out.

And even when she did

she always just kind of played the part

but never really got it how I saw it in her.

I think I just wanted her to be this muse

which she understood she couldn’t be.

Not because she didn’t want to but rather

because she’d already given so much of herself

that there really wasn’t more to give.

And what’s the point of giving your all

to something that never really gave you anything

but headaches and a broken heart?

Oh how we live for those who treat us like dirt

because in the end we respect them better than

the rest who smile and nod and tell us how

good of a job we’re doing just to get through the day.

But they don’t really care. To them

we might as well not even exist. I mean really

who do you call when you’re at rock bottom?

You call the ones you’ve loved, lost, and

will love regardless of the pain they’ve caused

because even when she said she had nothing

to say, I knew better than that.

I just pray she wasn’t telling the truth.

Hell even when I have nothing to say

I have something to say. But that’s me.

That wasn’t and will never be her.

“So don’t think twice it’s alright.”

Bob Dylan said that.

“I’ll let you be in my dream if I can be in yours.”

Bob Dylan also said that.

“Write with fire,” I said that.

I’m probably taking this harder than I should

but that’s who I am and what I do.

I know this. I admit it. I am this.

There is no turning it off, no turning back.

I’ll wake up tomorrow pen in hand regardless.

Don’t it feel good? That spark. Like fire, right?

You just can’t put it down no matter how hard you try.

See, you don’t choose it, it chooses you.

And if you don’t say it, someone will.

It’s all just wishful thinking in the end

so here’s another penny to the well

funny how it doesn’t even make a splash anymore.

Dead is never Dead

Nothing

Dead

is ever fully Dead

until it is

But even then

we play with it

we spoil it

we serve it

We give it enough strength

so that it can live again

Even when it kills us

Dead is never Dead

peace.

All is quiet yet again

and I know what I must do

as if tasting coffee

for the first time

8:52

I drink slowly, carefully

cautiously

while sunlight enters the room

and from my window I can see

I am nothing

I am nothing more than

what I choose to be

and what I’ve chosen

this morning

is peace.

another way

Man will never miss a chance

to kill another man

even in times of peace and relative

prosperity man will always find a way.

It’s a tired tale but we read it everyday.

Man oh man can’t we find another way?

Completely defeated

Even dulling my senses

doesn’t do the trick

when the truth

is knocking at the door

in fact it’s already inside

warming it’s feet by the fire

smiling in my direction

while I bring it tea

because it asked

and knows

I’m completely defeated.