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Caffeine & Nicotine Us In The Clouds

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I was so enthusiastic to discover

everything about everyone

I was a Private Dick and ready

to solve every damsel in distress

Though everything and everyone

I touched who was beyond my understanding

Stood like the usual suspects

unaware of their crimes, I was

spinning round like a carousel horse, free

though beyond my own control, grease painted thin

I was taken for some silly clown

a misread fortune-teller’s sideways frown

Day tripping through town, I was told

I was flipping out, but over a rainbow I found

all that I had ever wanted trickling down

those front porch steps of that old rented house

And I was captivated by everyone’s truth

as if the words she penned from my youth

so effortlessly then, like I do now

Caffeine & Nicotine Us In The Clouds

sailing high above the unbearable doubt

Wow! Did I ever sail onward or did I just drown?

As silent as a mouse searching for crumbs

in the floorboards of some dilapidated house —

But come on we have the internet now

which keeps us farther apart than ever before —

What I thought wasn’t then is manageable now

as I pick from the parcel small pieces of how

brilliant are the stars before they burn out

And how I sought to discover what I’d already found

her peace with another brings peace to me now.

Through the air vents of my room

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I’ve known a many artist in my day, say

Today old friend you come to mind

And how for a short time, your voice divine

Scratchy and old, though, you and I know

Age is just a number and it’s you who’d show

Me this: Dear, Gavin Heron Vante

Who needed a place to rest his weary head

For the night I offered you some bread

Where that night you had said, Ah man!

I haven’t seen this show in years, mind if I watch

Married with Children, Amen! Amen!

Then later I’d record you playing all the chords

I always had wish I could, watching your fingers

Slide and swoop through Sloop John B

I tried to sing harmonies but who was I kidding

Aloof in my eagerness to know everything and all

You had to offer and more, more, more I cried

Singing, drinking in the night like two old friends

Because we were in fact just two ageless nobodies

In the effortless night of somebodies

Giving me your time, cradling my wine

Looking through old photo’s now

I can still feel your spirit sing softly through

The air vents of my room

The next morning of course, saying farewell

Dropping you at Austin’s Coffee

Collecting your bicycle and taking the trash out for a buck

Needing my fix of early morning talkie

That I’m sure no one ever really gave a hoot about —

Now I hear you’re out of the Coma

That took you too soon like a phantom in the night

You were right when you told me

To take it easy man, oh man, Gavin Heron Van

Where there is no plan there in lies the plan

I now know the meaning of that age old saying

Those were the days, good sir, I give my praise

Sincerely,

Dave

P.S. There’s a place for you here, always

Rain Shower Souls

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What happened to that rain shower soul?

The sun’s still shining but where did it go?

And all those sidewalk chalk talking dreams

came loose like a button torn at the seams.

What happened to that day dream tune?

The song’s still playing but how bout you?

And all those streetlight coffee shop blues

aligned like the sun eclipsed by the moon.

Did it help to regret all that came too soon?

Like skipped rocks reflect rippled waters in June?

Cause that honey was sweet so I tasted it all

aware that no one dear could break this fall.

Did it help to indulge in the depths of the Eve?

If Adam were blind don’t you think he’d still see?

Cause more often than not two stars in the sky

do cross one another in the blink of an eye.

What a trip to be youthful, dramatic and bold

To walk just a block with those rain shower souls

But age without reason can make you quite old

I’ve stitched my last button, when you’re ready I’ll go.

die a King in your fantasy.

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I don’t want to be a burden

I just wanna sit here and read.

So if that’s ok

then the band can play

I’ll look up a couple times to see.

Everyone who’s silently cursing

checking out the latest feed.

There’s someone I knew

from another life

I look away so they don’t notice me.

It’s a living, a hard living

the barista says while pouring cream

a couple swirls and a twist

now there’s a swan swimming in my drink.

Guess I never really felt like drowning

I just swam in this misery.

I guess I can’t complain

I made my bed

skipped my prayers

now I’m counting sheep.

Guess I never really felt like dying

just romanticized how life could be

it’s like a game of chess

you protect the Queen

and die a King in your fantasy.

Cause it’s a living, a hard living

it could be worse is a common phrase

a couple riffs then applause

now the band packs their noise and leaves.

If I have to take a vow of silence

plead the fifth in double time.

With all due respect

I think I must confess

I cracked up like a nursery rhyme.

Still I can’t sing that song without crying

so whatever shall be shall be.

I guess the world’s the same

rinse repeat complain

the punch line never hit with me.

So if you’re living, a hard living

here’s raising this glass to you

and if you’re worried, don’t worry

there’s bound to be an answer soon.

Cause baby I don’t wanna be a burden

I just want to write my poetry.

Because I’m not a rock

or an island but

ain’t that the only way to be free.

moving West

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I flipped myself

like a coin

then flipped again

just to see

if heads or tails

would land twice

like a pollinating

honey bee

I figured if I had a

50/50 chance

I might as well

take a look see

and feel what lie on the

other side of dying

rather than spend another

long day trying

to convince myself

I’d be better off another house wife

crying

into coffee

or screaming into laundry

relying on the offerings

of innocent smiles

casting unintentional

shadows on my coffin

of denial

marred by my own

self loathing

which like a

preacher’s devotion

I took such pride

in approaching

solitude

like a potion

endlessly encroaching

on my own

well being

I admit I was broken

so I flipped that coin

heads

then I flipped myself

tails

and discovered

this notion

that

heads or tails I was going

Going

Gone

with the wind

not a rolling stone

or a tumbleweed

not a nickel or dime

not a honey bee

no I was a wreck

cast far out to sea

but that’s just the thing

it took all that to see

moving West wouldn’t be

all that easy for me

no nothing is lucky

nothing is free

except the glow of bonfire

in the dead of tree

where dancing shadows

take form and

I’m just

understandably me — hell

it’s already 1:03

and I’m hungry

but

I’ve got no food to eat —

so call it in the air

no

on second thought

I’ll just let this one be.

coffee

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When Hemingway writes

coffee

but doesn’t really

write about coffee

I crave it

Taste it

I smell it’s sorrow

And pour a cup

As the morning becomes I

And I the morning’s passing

another night

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At the end of the day

I am nothing but

sweat and fat

and bad breath

and poems

strewn out among sage

and corkscrew, lighter, and coffee mug

wine and love for it all

all the things that I have carried

and still carry till this day

another night

another light

twinkling in the Friday night hysteria

of weekend fun

unseen.

peace.

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All is quiet yet again

and I know what I must do

as if tasting coffee

for the first time

8:52

I drink slowly, carefully

cautiously

while sunlight enters the room

and from my window I can see

I am nothing

I am nothing more than

what I choose to be

and what I’ve chosen

this morning

is peace.

this old coffee shop

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It’s all the same, all of it

except it’s all very different

from what I remember

it’s more or less weathered

the wall’s still orange

the bricks are still painted red

the music’s never stopped

it’s still sympathetic

in this old coffee shop

where I once roamed

head over heels

with everyone, though

I know it’s hard to believe

Rosie’s staring back at me

judging as if to say,

welcome back old friend —

now get the hell out of dodge!