New York City Central Park

Before we knew one another

New York City Central Park

feeding ducks in the pond

Austin making quack-quack sounds

and Tina wanting to go

I looked at you for a long while

before you looked at me

and through my camera lense

I took a picture in black and white

your gaze, tender and aware as if to say

I am here and I’m glad you are too

and I nervous in my boyish wonder

trying to play coy though who was I kidding

tip toeing every word as I so often do

upon first meeting before I muck it all up

with the nonsense I carry like tattered old books

though that day there was no room for Paradise Lost

there was no desire for Walden or Poe

stepping lightly off the curb in those Italian Leather loafers

I thought went well with your hesitant smile

perhaps you felt it too when time stopped

not literally but figuratively as real as a care free afternoon

like that which was the fall in Central Park

and I think I even paid for dinner that night which I couldn’t afford

for all four of us since I had the credit

just trying to be nice, because well

you know, I was happy and I think you were too.

One Philadelphia Night

I took off my clothes

my skin suit

and rattled my bones

clicked my heels

and down the hatch

I went spiraling forth

into a bleak oblivion

where not even the dark

could hide, I

stood staring into nothing like

a Mona Lisa replica

my conscience hung midair

like a wine stained sheet

pinned neatly to dry

and there were no bones about it

I had completely lost my mind

stumbling down West 4th and Pine

crossing line after line, every time

after time just me, myself, and I

delirious in my delusion

picking homeless men off the street

with tears in both our eyes

I’m no different than you my dear friend

neither are you from I, he said

you’re going to be all right, he said

as for me well, I’ve lived a storied life, he ended

with a reassuring glance as I handed him two dimes

for it was all I had

collecting my clothes

skin suit and conscience

brave the winter, he said

spring needs you

I see a lot of people

I see a lot of people

not liking themselves

Whose only hobby it seems

is not liking themselves

Figuring out new ways

of not liking themselves

I see a lot of people who are all the same

holding onto their pain like a talisman

And though it pains me to say it

I’ve still got to say it:

that kettle over there looks rather black.

oblivion different reasons

Myself

explored expressed explained

oblivion different reasons

over and over and over again

exposing what I’m feeling

though it never really quite makes sense

unless there’s someone healing

who kind of sort of gets the gist

and cradles their own meaning.

giants

Fee-fi-fo-fum

giants

aren’t always

GIANT —

little one

Love will…

Love

will change you

disfigure you

destroy you

mold you

into a thousand

desperate forms

of you

before you

can truly Love

Love will

abandon you

leave you

free you

from its grasp

Broken and

alone you

will then know Love

from whatever it was

you

were stuck in before

you

knew better than to Love

false Love

that certain something

You can love somebody

anybody

unconditionally

but the one thing you can’t do

is change them. You can’t

make them who you wished

they would be, although

yes it’s there

that certain something

always shining

like a diamond in the rough

sparkling is their beauty

but only for a moments glance

before it’s lost again.

God how I wish I could tell them

of everything that I see within them

of all mine and their desires fulfilled

though they wouldn’t believe me

for they couldn’t see themselves

like I see

their souls burning in denial

wanton and wild

whether it be love or vile

you can love somebody

anybody, but

you can’t change them.

Not really.

All you can do is tell them how you feel.

So tell them.

Chances are

they feel that way too.

another night

At the end of the day

I am nothing but

sweat and fat

and bad breath

and poems

strewn out among sage

and corkscrew, lighter, and coffee mug

wine and love for it all

all the things that I have carried

and still carry till this day

another night

another light

twinkling in the Friday night hysteria

of weekend fun

unseen.

Begin…

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And so we end

Another day

Zeroed out

Begin…

Something

Something is in the air today

And it’s not bad or good

Insidious perhaps

In fact I can hardly feel it

But it’s there, breathing

Be cautious whispers wind

Down the curvature of my spine

Into my core, something

Yes something is in the air today