Updates, Headaches, and Suppertime

The more my browser

tells me it’s out of date

the more, out of date

I feel. Perhaps

it’s time for an update.

Perhaps, it’s time for a meal.

Something else I told him

They
will
love
the generic
you,
the
you
they
feel safe
with,
and
look past
the
real you
who
might
spoil
their
fun.

That is life I told him

He
felt
much
more
comfortable
in
the
company
of
strangers,
yet
still
searched
for
that
familiar
face
in
the
crowd.

Yin and Yang and Me

I had this friend
who did nothing all day long

and this other friend
who never stopped moving.

So all day long
I sat and wondered about these two,

like wings of a dragonfly
my mind raced back and forth

up and down
turning them over like a pair of Jokers,

all day long,
sometimes, all night even.

Pacing back and forth
I never stopped moving

contemplating everything
which turned into nothing.

As they wonder.

We
don’t
genuinely
love
the stranger
on the corner,
on the television,
at work,
on the daily news.

We
get
used
to them
like they
get used to us,
to being liked,
to being lied to,
to being accepted.

We
wonder
why they
have it so good,
why we can’t quite get it straight,
why the stranger
on the corner, can’t get his act together,
why the camera’s won’t turn off,
we wander as they wonder.

As they wander, we wonder.

I know you know what I don’t know.

I don’t know
which crushes my spirit more,

the heroin needles
outside my apartment building
or
the line of Ray-Ban wearing tourists
waiting for brunch.

I don’t know.
I
just
don’t
know.

Love & Fear

They’ll
cut
you
like
a
knife,
you know,
and
leave
you
in
an
instant,
scarred —
yet
polar
opposites
they
attract
one another —
it’s true,
I’ve
seen
their
workings
and they,
are pure,
they
are
direct,
they
hold
no
prejudice,
except
for
those
they
love
and fear.

Another On Depression. (written some time ago) Or something like that.

It doesn’t feel like a weight
or an isolated incident.

It’s more like a cloudy headed hangover.

The mind knows what it needs
but the body refuses to cooperate.

It’s like sitting with a good book
for hours, no wiser in the end.

Or driving aimlessly
with no set destination.

It doesn’t feel like anything,
really.

Just a relative constant
that comes and stays.

Like an uninvited guest – talkative –
with nothing good to say, whom

upon arrival you wish they would go
but on departure, a part of you wishes they’d stay.

It’s nobodies goal to be addicted,
is it?

It doesn’t feel like anything,
really.

Or something like that.

In light of current & ongoing events.

Most of us have a hard time
having to express the way we feel inside
I
seem quite normal to the outside world
but really who would know?
We
don’t ask questions in public
for fear of stirring up conflict
You
could have said something helpful
but you stood politically correct.

Some like to engage in alcohol
others fuck strangers in bathroom stalls
She
to the world looked like an angel
something she’d never know.
We
don’t ask questions in public
for fear of stirring up conflict
He
could have given her confidence?
But sadly he knew the truth.

Most of us have a hard time
having to express the way we feel inside
I
am just a quarter in a wishing well
so here’s to wishing you well.
We
don’t want to listen to sadness speak
instead we wait for silence’s grief
You
could have the world at your feet
if you just put that bottle down.

It’s not a problem until it is
we’ve all got history I know this
He
made loads of money and hit his kids
but that’s just history now.
We
don’t ask questions in public
for fear of stirring up conflict
I’ve
been feeling good the past two days
I guess that’s a start anyhow.

It’s too early to be tired and I’m tired again.

It’s
too
early
to
be
tired
and
I’m
tired
again.

Not
the
I’ve
been
on
my
feet
all
day
tired.

No.

It’s
that
special
kind
of
tired
we
don’t
dare
speak.

It’s
the
reason
we
stand
all
day
on
our
feet.

Yes.

It’s
that
special
kind
of
truth
we
work
so
hard

to
forget.
Until
we
remember,
no
longer
able
to
sleep.