Without even knowing
her beauty wash’s over me
while I listen to her sing
from this morning’s shower.
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Love’s the only cure.
I don’t wish to have the answers
for any questions of concern
just know that I am working
my hardest in reverse
to tame the wild memories
once thought of as a curse
those now that are a blessing
from the backseat of a hearse,
cause friendship it has shown me
like the calm hand of a nurse
the answers to the questions
where love’s the only cure.
I believe, I believe, I believe in you
I’ve a laundry list of confessions
like the phases of the moon
Sometimes they pose a question
sometimes they propose two
I’ve got a long list of suggestions
to sink my teeth in to
Half the time full of dimension
still I love the dark side too.
Some people live by first impression
I tried but couldn’t resist
Tangled knots in life’s suspension
marionette’s even sometimes quit
Bottled up untapped aggression
like a dog in heat I bit
Every hand who fed I bargained
sold my soul for half a cent.
Sometimes I just don’t feel ok
when color seems to fade to gray
But even I knew better days
were drawn like window shades.
Put me on like a flannel
in the middle of May
Wear me out completely
with the words that you say
Today the sun is shining
brighter than yesterday
So strum these heart string chords
cause you know just what to play.
Blow me out like a candle
I’ll be your flickering flame
Tuck me in like a child
too old for past mistakes
Let me sing to you a while
and the words that I’d say
Light the sky like a storm
and your rain’s saving grace.
Sometimes I just don’t feel ok
and you tell me that that’s ok.
I believe, I believe, I believe in you
I believe in you everyday,
cause I believe you believe in me.
a new days morn
Golden white light
of a new days morn
pours through glass
another day reborn
In the ashes of night
there lies but a thorn
plucked from the side
no flesh had been torn
White sheets toss n tangle
cold toes on the floor
unfathomable visions
eyes closed I see more
Her inflow of breath
his outflow explores
the depths of her hair
do please stay the course
There’s reason in knowing
what comes from the source
in the golden white light
of a new days morn.
Heaven here on earth.
How curious it is that I
no longer beg or question why
but rather like the naked eye
accepts the sky is blue—
with honesty and strength that I’ve
been granted through these tales of time
woven as one as you are I
accepts the ancient truth,
for like the moon and sun decide
to shed or shield eternal light
with arms spread thin wide opened eye
keep mine closed now to see,
what beauty lies beyond the pine
is neither up to you nor I
it’s always been like time gone by
regardless of the proof—
in truth it’s curious that I
could feel so pure estranged from life
whose meadow in the golden light
is heaven here on earth.
ashes and asphalt
The grass was thick and warm
unlike the asphalt
which was fire to her to feet
so she lay in the grass
sharp but pliable blades
caressing her skin exposed
while the sun began
to shower her thoughts poured
like rain simmering steam rose
from the ashes and asphalt.
Cupid’s always looking in
This life’s a beautiful disaster penned one summer long ago
I mean who was I kidding just a kid on the East Coast
So I took my car and drove off found myself out on the road
I was so sure I was different but so scared of letting go
Had this girl her name was pure like it was written in the stars
I first met her in the backseat of my good friends mother’s car
And I don’t quite know how it happened tangled alone in the dark
But she showed me true compassion for a badly broken heart
And if you ever saw the way her fingers danced upon my hand
Love’s an infinite reminder I just couldn’t understand
She was beautiful regardless of the way things had to end
I’m just happy to have seen her grown and happy as a friend
Somewhere before and after I had lost my innocence
Was a child when I said come on let’s go what’s happening
Like a judge biting my tongue so long held on to my defense
Till one day it all poured out like a volcano from my head
You talk too much don’t talk enough try this paper and pen
I think that it’ll help to write it down is what she said
And of course guess what it happened but this time in a kitchen
We were kindred drunk and carefree at first sight I do admit
I wasn’t looking for a lover in retrospect needed a friend
But that’s the way it happens Cupid’s always looking in
When she took me without question I knew something had to give
Had more talent in her pinky than I swear I ever did
And she tried hard to convince me I was good at fitting in
Still my anger got the best of me and then the fear to live
See it took 6 months of depression just to make one decision
I would have should have could have now son that’s no way to live
I thought if I just disappear perhaps I’d be no one’s burden
But learned life is a disaster that you somehow have to live
So I packed my bags one day and gave myself unto the wind
Hell I’ve been kicking rocks forever so I’m hella used to it
See there’s no way of ever knowing how tomorrow’s gonna end
You just get up brush your hair and then go do it again
Still love’s an infinite reminder I’ve tried so hard to understand
It always makes more sense when you’re left with empty hands
Like a psychic I am reading all the lines riddles and man
I can see it all so clearly first accept yourself and then
Maybe you get lucky one day in Central Park
Or perhaps while spilling coffee on a stranger after dark
There’s a reason for each season as one ends one’s soon to start
It only takes a moment kiddo ready on your mark
a loneliness grave.
I spared him a quarter
alone where he stood
next to the Madonna
as if she’d do him good.
He gave me a blessing
gentle and aware
the wind it was violent
messing both our hair.
While Girl Scouts are selling
cookies for the troop
a week ago maybe
someone died on that stoop.
But don’t tell their mothers
as if they would care
no you don’t get the badge unless
you’ve sold your soul there.
My eyes they grow weary
still I can’t look away
at the hummingbird dancing
a loneliness grave,
still I’ve got this feeling
that there’s no escape
am I ok to drive? I guess or else just look away.
Am I ok to drive? I guess, if not well either way.
At the cafe I buy coffee
either iced or cold brew
the barista he tells me
nothing’s ever new.
But still I ask questions
like how do you do
and she recalls my name
it’s the least she could do.
I don’t mean to sound faithless
I’ve just seen enough kicks
see the old man he died, well
some things never make sense.
It’s slight of the hand, it’s
a scam with three cups
you follow the ball then
it’s gone where it was.
My eyes they burn red with
the heat of the day
it’s winter in Burbank
what more can I say,
still I’ve got this feeling
that there’s no escape
am I ok to drive? I guess or else just look away.
Am I ok to drive? I guess, if not well either way.
Now I take to the bar, where
Happy Hour’s till 6
Scott the tender he knows me
pours my whiskey then gin.
What’s the good word? Pal, tell me
do you think that you could
spare me knowledge like change would
do me some type of good.
I don’t stay past the hour
happiness never lasts
after shame there comes flowers
then of course there’s the past.
You’re a good guy he tells me
see the pain never lasts
I assure you it does, Scott
he just nods then he laughs.
See there’s beauty in living
it’s just hidden by stars
who illuminate sidewalks
like two subtle hearts,
still I’ve got this feeling
that there’s no escape
it’s an obvious cycle, one I’ll never break.(?)
Am I ok to drive? I guess or else just look away.
Am I ok to drive? I guess, if not well either way.
Everyday is Halloween
All this life it seems I’ve been running away
Thought I could turn it off
Pour me a cheap escape
Fine tune this sort of self therapy
It never goes away for long
An undying mother’s love
Nursed me warm when I was not
At 13 I learned a lot
To have and to have not
Yet still I’m dreaming of
His wake —
I tried to look into the psychic’s eye
Try to figure out what’s going on inside
He sold me fame and fortune, it’ll be alright
Still I wound up bound and down
Screaming never made a sound
I feel freedom in the clouds
A kiss really meant help me out
Some fell in love and some fell down
But I’m not looking for that now
Another needle in the crowd
Another burden, a life
released —
I had a girl you see, she was better than not
She gave me all she could in a parking lot
I forced myself to try but it was never enough
Yellow light flickered around
We were kids no one talked about
An endless stream of aimless doubt
Like a weight dragging me down
When all I wanted was an out
She burned quickly then burnt out
But she was pretty
I was lucky, she was free —
Daylight savings time in another month
I’ve been killing time since I was young
Never quite so sure who I was or what
he meant by get away from me
Or rather feeling the relief
His coarse beard upon my cheek
In the mirror what I see
Sometimes it isn’t me
I try my hardest to believe
A half hearted destiny
There’s a reason or a message
To be —
I turn myself around, spin it upside down
Try to feel awake the best I know how
Still that echo rings in one ear then out
This haunting jealousy
For everyone who isn’t me
For everyone I long to see
I keep them safe within a dream
Scrubbing never kept them clean
My hands is what I mean
Everyday is Halloween
Except I can’t wear my mask
and see —
So I’mma take a walk, drown myself in thought
kick rocks until I figure out the plot
I’ve held this silver plate as long as I can take
It never helped me in the end
I’d have to die to make amends
Till then I’ll cheers to friends
A forced smile helps you fit in
Sometimes it’s better to pretend
We don’t break until we bend
His choice is my defense
For choosing, to live
The end.
Grey hours of day
What’s there left to say
on days like today
Where everything stops
the light just turns grey
The moon and the mind
become one entwined
with fear as bright as the stars
So come with me now
still I have my doubts
But isn’t it fun
sometimes to run
Where no one can see
just listen to me
for once I’ve got nothing to say
It’s all just
too much to take
On days as grey as today
Where no one
gets what they want
they all just walk in the park
Ain’t it better here in the dark?
There’s a place and a time
in the back of my mind
where you and I hide
when you’re so inclined
It’s a place where the grey
hours of day, commit not to say anything.
So come with me there
forget all your fears
Knock-knock orange you glad
I’ve got the blues bad
Just stay with me now
and let’s talk about
anything other than this
These days I don’t think I’ll miss.
