a beautiful life

It is one of youth’s greatest gifts to be

confused and curious and dangerous.

It is also one of maturity’s great gifts to be

dangerous and curious and confused.

So consider me curious as to why

those dangerous days, strung out and confused

could seem so simple to me now?

Here in the arms of infinite light

you will see that darkness soon enough

and I hope you’ll identify it as: a beautiful life.

Seven months & Two days since

Seven months &

Two days

since…

Nothing really makes sense,

does it? Didn’t then,

doesn’t now!

Life just goes on until it doesn’t.

Like the envy of a caterpillar

for the beauty of a butterfly.

Memories are

Memories

are brutal

in their infancy,

much more

beautiful in

their adolescence,

yet quite more

honest

in their maturity

are memories

bound to our being

like shadows cast

on a garden wall

where a rose bush

bent, stands crutched

to a stake of wood,

delicate are it’s thorns

our memories

they too are.

her face

Under her face

somewhere under there

was her face, though

she didn’t show it often

I’d seen it before

in the morning light

before the sun skewed

her senses and

she’d cover it up with lies

littered with freckles

hard jaw and subtle age lines

as if two crows took a tango

on the corners of her brown eyes

and when she’d turn

away from the mirror, falling

effortlessly into my arms

I could barely hold her up

for she was far more strong

than any weight I could bear

and her face made that clear

as she’d slowly cover up

everything that made

her beautiful.

a beautiful life.

At the end of this life

if you can say

I did some things

I really, really enjoyed

and helped some people

along the way

all the while

laboring loves labyrinth

then that

I’d say

is a beautiful life.

all the beautiful ways

She let herself go

in all the beautiful ways

she was destined to

As I sunk deeper under bedsheet

wanting nothing more than to disappear

alone in the darkness

She was painting all her daydreams

in pale blue watercolor

twirling her brush between strokes

Like I had watched her do

so many countless nights before

like the time she painted me nude

And I watched her beauty unfold

like a single blooming lotus flower

adrift on a swamp at dawn

“majordomo”

If I don’t know what a word means

I look it up on my phone

I type “majordomo” for example

And learn that it means

“a chief steward in a large household”

And it’s that simple

It’s quite refreshing in a way

Like I’ve led myself to water and know now when to drink