—karma’s a bitch—

I woke up today

glad that I did

with crippling

back pain and

Tylenol fix

but as I sit here now

heat pack in place

hardly able to walk

drink without chase

—karma’s a bitch—

but I’m glad I woke up

if just now to say

I’m glad I woke up

regardless the pain.

this one.

You can’t win

because it’s life

and there’s

nothing to win

just death

and then

whatever it is

you believe

will happen next.

For me I’ll be

reincarnated

to live

another life.

I just hope it’s

as strange

and weird

and cruel

and wonderfully

disastrous as

this one.

Maybe one

with less love

and more

true love.

Maybe not.

something sweet.

It’s been a long

sour day

that I’ve been

sucking on

Cracking

my teeth

chewing rocks

and trying

to care

I’m better than this

but as I said

it’s been a long

sour day

Looking forward

to tomorrow

tonight even

for something sweet.

private little worlds

All of us

buried deep

in our private little worlds

so sure that

something

is bound

to give.

alone and warm and aware

The sun is warm on my face

grey shadow upon wood grain

stuck somewhere between

sympathy and harmony

with the universe

and where a headache should be

there is none

and where a heart should be

there is stone

and where I should be

there is shadow

alone and warm and aware

cast too across wood grain with

the closing doors of another work shift.

3:08

3:08

and I’m happy.

Not the smiling sort of

tell-all happy but

the breathing in the moonlight

kind of easiness,

just being, barely conscious

and willing to be free.

And

it’s 3:12 now

and shit,

you know how it goes.

They had me at goodbye.

They had me at goodbye

as they always seemed to die

slow like a rose

one day jubilant and alive

then like sleep goes the week

and it’s noticed that the rose

has died. But see, I kept them there

all wilted and decayed

brown and crumpled I’d debate

taking them to the trash

throwing them away, though

a rose in its youth is beautiful

so too is a rose left to dry.

So I pressed them between pages

and drew a pretty picture

poured ink from my memory

so that even in death

they’d remain

alive.

a caged artist

I never met an artist I didn’t like

I just tasted their breathe

from an arms length away

and

when they told me drunkenly

to go to hell

at least I knew they meant it

so while she tore off her clothes

like a caged animal

in the center of a Williamsburg high-rise

a slave to her own bizarre fashion

I could see it there, her passion

exhibited like a gallery of fine art

and her hair

painted in oils hyper-realistic

she would drive herself wild

though couldn’t quite blend her canvas

into the madness she became

hysterical so

closing the cage I left

knowing

there wasn’t more I could do

than allow her the respect and dignity

to clean up her own mess.

season of change

Never had a bad intention

I just always made some bad decisions

that usually got way out of hand

and discredited my good intent

though looking a bit harder now

I guess I was just angry and confused

and figuring it out the best I knew how

given time, place, and circumstance

I mean I was just 16 then 19 — 23 then 25

now 31 doesn’t feel so old, in fact

I feel much younger than my former self

ready to dive back into that season of change.

strangers to ourselves.

My eyes burn

with exhaustion

scanning the airport

for any sign of life

though heads down turned

there is none

just a few lone stragglers

who look around

the same as I

unwilling to accept the courtesy

of pleasant conversation

we remain

strangers

and

strangers to ourselves.