No reason, No pain

I don’t mean to sound defeated

It just always hurt to try

Knowing there’s no meaning

In waiting out the night,

So I take my lashes willing

Under this starry sky

Knowing there’s no reason

Or pain to justify

Her Beauty Unfolds

How lively and cruel

Mother Nature can be

How honest her birds

Who chirp Chickadee

Her hawk soars majestic

Through winds over sea

Her beauty unfolds

Without you or me

Many Monsters

So it’s back to the mountain

Where monsters go not to die

But to live among the many

Picking Petals

Strange,

to only feel necessary

when you aren’t any longer.

A Leap of Faith

Faith is half the battle

The Leap is up to you

A novel idea

It’s easy getting bitter.

The hard part’s getting better.

Isn’t that a novel idea?

For bitter or worse.

Bad Brain

The only pleasure that I get now

is from forgetting I exist.

April 29, 2014 — Brunch In The Village — A Journal Excerpt

While the money drains from my pockets like a busted water main I can’t help but wonder—has our existence really boiled down to name badges and paychecks, fedora’s and chino’s, tax breaks and debt? It’s no wonder the streets are filled with broken bodies.

It’s no wonder the idea of the “weekend” has begun to depress me. This invisible structure, unspoken, yet accepted continues to devour our living, chewing us like cud, and then spitting us out to white sheets where we can’t even reach the bedpan without assistance.

A weekend ago I was eating brunch in The Village, drinking a Bloody Mary, eating eggs Benedict, and writing a letter to a friend when I noticed two men noticing me. They asked if I was a writer—each in their 50’s debating women over Mimosa’s—to which I told them I was just going through the motions of my 20’s. They both smiled, shared a laugh of remembrance, and went back to arguing. If I was smart I’d play the game, perhaps try to sell myself even. One day I thought, but for now, I’m an artist stuck in his artist ways, trying his best not to care that he can’t afford the eggs, the rent, or brunch in The Village for that matter.

You’ve Got A Point.

The lengths we’ll go to prove a point

are nothing compared

to the lengths we’ll go to save a life.

Your Cynical Smile

There’s something cynical in your smile

as if I rubbed off some and forgot to say,

that I’m not that kind of cynic.

And I feel no joy from any of this.