Beautiful Days

Beautiful music plays

while I remember—the worst—

most beautiful days.

Austin’s Coffee, 2011

still as the evening air

For some reason, people

just keep on sticking around—

no matter how I push them away.

And God knows I’ve tried, yet

still as the evening air

they remain, willing and shifty

to see me from my darkness

onward, till dawn.

A message from that time I cut myself off from the world. (circa 2009)

What I lost in my depression

What developed over time

Who grew within my absence

Who called but couldn’t find

The person who they once knew

Who only wished to die

Where deep within my fortress

Of solitude did I

Salute them in their merit

Who tried from time to time

To free me from my burden

Which words could not describe

Though even in my heartache

I never told a lie

But took pride in them knowing

Their strength I too could find

That’s why I keep them with me

Past lovers, friends, and my

Gratitude for suffering

This awfully fragile mind

Grown with understanding

Like fruit picked from a vine

I’m grounded by their blessings

And grateful for this life

Breathe

To breathe is a gift we often overlook

though each day we are granted this ability.

Today, breathe deeply, fully

and accept that you are worthy,

to breathe.

Breathe

wasted days

I remember all my wasted days

so vividly now and always

because for all my wasted days

tallied together, I’m that much more

thankful for the good ones

and the people I shared them with,

who made them great and who I miss dearly

upon all these abundant, wasted days.