April 29, 2014 — Brunch In The Village — A Journal Excerpt

While the money drains from my pockets like a busted water main I can’t help but wonder—has our existence really boiled down to name badges and paychecks, fedora’s and chino’s, tax breaks and debt? It’s no wonder the streets are filled with broken bodies.

It’s no wonder the idea of the “weekend” has begun to depress me. This invisible structure, unspoken, yet accepted continues to devour our living, chewing us like cud, and then spitting us out to white sheets where we can’t even reach the bedpan without assistance.

A weekend ago I was eating brunch in The Village, drinking a Bloody Mary, eating eggs Benedict, and writing a letter to a friend when I noticed two men noticing me. They asked if I was a writer—each in their 50’s debating women over Mimosa’s—to which I told them I was just going through the motions of my 20’s. They both smiled, shared a laugh of remembrance, and went back to arguing. If I was smart I’d play the game, perhaps try to sell myself even. One day I thought, but for now, I’m an artist stuck in his artist ways, trying his best not to care that he can’t afford the eggs, the rent, or brunch in The Village for that matter.

You’ve Got A Point.

The lengths we’ll go to prove a point

are nothing compared

to the lengths we’ll go to save a life.

Your Cynical Smile

There’s something cynical in your smile

as if I rubbed off some and forgot to say,

that I’m not that kind of cynic.

And I feel no joy from any of this.

The World Without Us

For those of you

incapable of happiness,

hang in there.

As without us

the world would be

an even sadder place.

This old house

There was new life once

In this old house

Which echos lonely footsteps

—silence rants and raves—

Trudging towards Nirvana

Amongst Other Things

My confidence comes and goes

like passing showers in Southern California.

Aprils Fool

I wish I could have been

The air of reason

Forever calm

Before the storm

Instead of becoming

Those howling winds

Those howling winds

You knew before

But having been

Picked over plenty

Like a jukebox full

Of another’s score

And though I never

Sought to reign

Like Aprils Fool

I seem to pour

Begin Again!

Forgive me father

For I have sinned

Repented, and

Will sin again—

My son, dear Michael

Finnegan

3 Hail Mary’s

I’ll see you then.

Unanswerable Questions

The tourists stop, and stare.

“Mommy is this why we’re here?”

“Yes,” says mommy kindly,

“this my dear is why we’re here.”

Then, they calmly walk away.

Clowns

It never struck me as odd

how all the happy clowns

were so less fortunate

than the sad ones. They too

of course were sad at times

but wore the biggest smiles—

smiles the sad clowns smudged—

for good reason? Probably not.