The Company We Keep

You might just find yourself

Very much alone and

Without anyone to call so

If you’re unwilling to change then

I just want you to know that

No matter what I’ll be there

Waiting with myself

Waiting for your company

Cat and Mouse

Two squirrel play

a fun little game of cat and mouse.

Both scurrying up the tree,

diving face first from branch to branch.

Like little cannons they shoot

back and forth between tree limbs.

One wagging it’s tail, the other

feigning ignorance, like two lovers

they quarrel, never knowing really

who’s cat, and who’s mouse.

Or what started all this in the first place.

for John Fante

Perhaps I’ve said too little,

perhaps I’ve said too much.

Whichever be the case Fante,

perhaps I’ll Ask The Dust.

What is, and is not necessary—a dialogue.

Whatever’s in my head, is there because I put it there.

It’s there because I allow it to be.

Whatever’s in yours, is yours—I’ve no idea, nor should.

If you’re curious, you may ask and I may tell you whatever’s in my head.

I may not, though that is up to me, as it is equally up to you.

So if and when I seem distant, it’s only because I’m having an internal debate on which to share.

I’m deliberately choosing words which may or may not have an impact on your own definition of me—of you.

Whatever’s in my head may change, in fact, depending on your point of view, so tread however you will when speaking, knowing that—

Whatever’s in your head, is there because we put it there.

And we being a positive or a negative really doesn’t matter.

What matters is, matter of factly null and void, more likely because,

whatever’s in your head, is there because you put it there.

It’s there because it is, if it wasn’t then, well, we wouldn’t be having this discussion with ourselves to begin with.

See. When two people interact or share in a discussion, it’s not simply a yes or no dialogue.

It’s not simply an A and B conversation but rather an (A,(B)) + (C,(D)) process of beliefs which often can be tricky or seem unfair.

And the more you think about it, the less there is to say, because, more times than not it’s what we don’t say that often really matters.

Perhaps I haven’t found the correct words, or perhaps I’m overthinking, perhaps I’m just learning how to communicate all together on a daily.

It’s like casting a line of bate to water. If the intended fish decides to bite, then it’s fair game, but when the intended fish is forced to bite, which for lack of a better metaphor, one can’t exactly force a fish to bite, then there’s an unfair advantage.

The bate is not merely physical bate, but encompasses the mind from which it’s cast with hope, fear, and determination—etc and so on.

The fish may rationalize it’s right to choose feast or famine, ultimately accepting it’s fate regardless of the line cast, by choice of internal and external response, which leads me back to my original point being…

Whatever’s in my head, is there because I put it there.

It’s there because I’ve reserved a rationality for it, and, regardless of the outcome, it’s necessary solely to me.

Further more, what’s necessary to me—perhaps the real point here—is not, nor should be expected to be necessary to you.

Any questions?

The hardest lesson

Probably the hardest lesson

to learn is that, in life

you can do everything right,

and still get it wrong.

Lost In Thought, Summer 2011

A Breathing Room – something we can all benefit from

How many times a day do you feel overwhelmed, frustrated, angry or confused?

After counting all of mine, would you mind if I borrow your fingers and toes?

In Peace Is Every Step, Thich Nhat Hanh suggests a breathing room. He writes, “we have a room for everything—eating, sleeping, watching TV—but we have no room for mindfulness. I recommend that we set up a small room in our homes and call it a “breathing room,” where we can be alone and practice just breathing and smiling, at least in difficult moments.”

If by chance you’re thinking, why didn’t I think of that, then join the club.

He goes on to describe this common space, the “breathing room,” as sort of a fortress of solitude where with respect to the inhabitant, no one else may enter or disturb their chosen silence.

It’s basically for that moment when a conversation turns into a discussion, which turns to a debate—with seemingly no agreeable outcome—which in turn forms into an argument, with no resolve.

So it’s reserved only for that peak moment of, “I need some space,” or “give me a moment to think.”

With so much information cycling in and out of your subconscious, be it social apps, advertisements, marketing, news, or work, where it can feel like our minds get lost in the shuffle, or rather programmed with ideas that aren’t solely our own, this often causes our discussions or thoughts to turn to anger and confusion, which in turn manifests itself in words of anger and confusion.

So instead of falling into a pit of verbal debate which at the start was never our intention to begin with, there in lies the breathing room.

It seems a bit strange at first but if you factor in the amount of screens we allow to jumble our thoughts on a daily basis, it really makes a lot more sense as to why it’s more than necessary in today’s day and age to have a space for mindfulness and calm reflection.

It’s a practice I continue to engage, like a well oiled machine, with proper maintenance and care, we can all find peace and understanding, and better ways to dealing with hard situations.

And I think that by allowing ourselves this space and time, we can find a better means of listening, speaking, and treating one another with the proper respect of another that we also deserve.

Breathe in. Breathe out. And by getting to the center of ourselves, we can then find better understanding of another.

Peace In Every Step, Thich Nhat Hanh

*Footnote: #101

random thoughts: we all have them, every second of everyday, so it’s no surprise when they pop up from time to time in the least and even a lot of times, expected places, like, hey, I was just thinking that, that’s my idea, or a kind of, sort of, variation of what I was thinking when doing X and Y throughout the day.

We’re very much alike even though it can feel like we’re so very different, but different in a good kind of way, a constructive way, a way that universalizes our emotions and expectations of ourselves and others around us.

I can almost guarantee you have more in common with the guy bagging your groceries, or pouring your latte than you do with fellow employees, or even some friends for that matter.

So, I’d like to propose that these rand0m th0ughts be an open platform to share, discuss, question, debate, relate, or even just to vent, with purpose of course, how full of crap menial thoughts throughout the day really are – perhaps they’re not?

Let’s decide together.

Conversation is key, and I look forward to hearing back from you readers, writers, and all around daily thinkers of rand0m th0ught.