Nothing feels good tonight.
Nothing sits well.
Nothing but myself and beer
to drown away my very American illusion
of happiness—my dear, I’m not sorry.
Please understand.
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What is, and is not necessary—a dialogue.
Whatever’s in my head, is there because I put it there.
It’s there because I allow it to be.
Whatever’s in yours, is yours—I’ve no idea, nor should.
If you’re curious, you may ask and I may tell you whatever’s in my head.
I may not, though that is up to me, as it is equally up to you.
So if and when I seem distant, it’s only because I’m having an internal debate on which to share.
I’m deliberately choosing words which may or may not have an impact on your own definition of me—of you.
Whatever’s in my head may change, in fact, depending on your point of view, so tread however you will when speaking, knowing that—
Whatever’s in your head, is there because we put it there.
And we being a positive or a negative really doesn’t matter.
What matters is, matter of factly null and void, more likely because,
whatever’s in your head, is there because you put it there.
It’s there because it is, if it wasn’t then, well, we wouldn’t be having this discussion with ourselves to begin with.
See. When two people interact or share in a discussion, it’s not simply a yes or no dialogue.
It’s not simply an A and B conversation but rather an (A,(B)) + (C,(D)) process of beliefs which often can be tricky or seem unfair.
And the more you think about it, the less there is to say, because, more times than not it’s what we don’t say that often really matters.
Perhaps I haven’t found the correct words, or perhaps I’m overthinking, perhaps I’m just learning how to communicate all together on a daily.
It’s like casting a line of bate to water. If the intended fish decides to bite, then it’s fair game, but when the intended fish is forced to bite, which for lack of a better metaphor, one can’t exactly force a fish to bite, then there’s an unfair advantage.
The bate is not merely physical bate, but encompasses the mind from which it’s cast with hope, fear, and determination—etc and so on.
The fish may rationalize it’s right to choose feast or famine, ultimately accepting it’s fate regardless of the line cast, by choice of internal and external response, which leads me back to my original point being…
Whatever’s in my head, is there because I put it there.
It’s there because I’ve reserved a rationality for it, and, regardless of the outcome, it’s necessary solely to me.
Further more, what’s necessary to me—perhaps the real point here—is not, nor should be expected to be necessary to you.
Any questions?
Life’s worthwhile
Every single day
She reminds me
Life’s worthwhile
Weird.
Did you know that feeling weird
suggests something supernatural or uncanny
and that feeling this way,
unsettled and mysterious to even yourself
is an extraordinary occasion for
growth and development?
Well it is, and for that, I applaud you
on this ability of estrangement
we so often take for granted, though I
take as a blessing, because you are a blessing.
Smoke signals in the distance
If you need me I’ll be shit faced
What I mean is I’ll be drunk
I’ll be one among the many few
Who’ve had it with this stuff
What I mean is life in general
And habits to abhor
What I mean are people’s cycles
Like children wanting more
If you need me I’ll be blacked out
What I mean is I’ll be gone
Away from all the hear say
Far from the Wall Of Moms
What I mean is I’ll be silent
What I mean is I’ll be cured
Less sheep among the megaphone
It’s best not to be heard
If you need me I’ll be nameless
What I mean is I’ll be safe
No profit ever profited
From showing off his face
What I mean is Martin Luther King
What I mean is Malcolm X
What I mean is they will kill you
Like that guy from Nazareth
If I need you which I won’t
Look North among the pine
Smoke signals in the distance
Will tell you I am fine
But just in case you need me
I assure you that you won’t
What I mean is here’s another post
No one will ever boast
What I mean is that which serves you
Serves you and you alone
What I mean is followers in time
Will leave you to the crows.
The butterfly in question
The butterfly in question
Steady flapping wings
A frenzy of direction
Who does not question me
The man in me knows something gold can stay
It’s an early morning wake up(wake up)
Adjust your hair put on your makeup(makeup)
It’s just a temporary state but(state but)
Either way you’ve got to make up(make up)
For all the time that you pissed away
For every second mistake you made
For every little indiscretion
For all the time you failed to mention
I love you so much my stomach burns
I love you so much that I’m lost for words
I love you so much see my eyes are pure
So stick around and we can make this work
You formed this feeling in Long Island(I land)
On my back and watch the world spin(world spin)
Back and forth in all direction(directions)
They only form a brief connection(except when)
The one’s you love turn from gold to grey
Tell Johnny Frost said nothing gold can stay
I do my best to find another way
The way I work is slow but baby hey
I love you so much I get dizzy spells
I love you so much you’re my wishing well
I love you so much now I’m overwhelmed
I love you so much you’re my homeward bound
Your eyes are healing now I’m lost for words
So stick around let’s watch the season’s turn
I’m slow with change but baby I’ve got faith
This fire burns you are my great escape
The man you met knows there’s a better way
The man in me knows something gold can stay
Tell me a story
There’s a part of me
that see’s this all clearly
like a child standing in a crowd
there’s really only one way out.
What is it that you see
it’s fine to disagree
why if the world’s mine oyster please
forgive me for the lack of belief.
I had this faith in you
I thought you had it too
how many smiles does it take to show
the unhappiness we grew to know.
Do you take this hand
would you understand
lighting matches just to prove you could
did it ever do you any good?
Tell me a story, one without love, cause it’s taken me for granted so many times—enough.
There’s a part of you
engrained in me now
I’d be a liar if I didn’t admit
it’s a piece I won’t ever regret.
So what’s the point of these prose
and insecurity poems
like a fish needs water to breathe
I guess it really isn’t up to me.
If this is just a passing feeling
I’ll agree to disagree then
watch the sun rise and fall once more
a couple hours then I’ll start the chore.
You see I know my problems
it’s not up to you to solve them
if I go out the Hemingway
like Kerouac first I’ll have my say so
Tell me a story, one without love, cause I’ve taken you for granted so many times—c’mon.
Tell me a story, one without love, cause it’s taken me for granted so many times—enough.
I let me.
God
the places I have known
and the places I have seen
and the places I will see
God willing
God help me
and to think
I don’t care much for God
only as much as he pulls for me
but oh God oh God oh me
what wonders we have to see
if willing, and willing
I let me.
a repeating theme.
If I wasn’t me
what would I see?
Life’s laundry list, a repeating theme.
In times like these
things start to get clean,
it’s just all the other times,
that have left me soiled, but boy oh boy
that’s not the point of today.
Bare bones in the wash, dare tell what they say?
If what I see, is merely a shell
then I’ve got some listening to do
before hearing that ocean once more.
Words Of An Average White Male 