Caffeine & Nicotine Us In The Clouds

I was so enthusiastic to discover

everything about everyone

I was a Private Dick and ready

to solve every damsel in distress

Though everything and everyone

I touched who was beyond my understanding

Stood like the usual suspects

unaware of their crimes, I was

spinning round like a carousel horse, free

though beyond my own control, grease painted thin

I was taken for some silly clown

a misread fortune-teller’s sideways frown

Day tripping through town, I was told

I was flipping out, but over a rainbow I found

all that I had ever wanted trickling down

those front porch steps of that old rented house

And I was captivated by everyone’s truth

as if the words she penned from my youth

so effortlessly then, like I do now

Caffeine & Nicotine Us In The Clouds

sailing high above the unbearable doubt

Wow! Did I ever sail onward or did I just drown?

As silent as a mouse searching for crumbs

in the floorboards of some dilapidated house —

But come on we have the internet now

which keeps us farther apart than ever before —

What I thought wasn’t then is manageable now

as I pick from the parcel small pieces of how

brilliant are the stars before they burn out

And how I sought to discover what I’d already found

her peace with another brings peace to me now.

(This was me, 2:25pm, August 31, 2020—happy, and holy, and released)

It’s become abundantly clear through time and misfortune, not to be confused with the physical form such as money or objects, but rather with the exploration of self, the embodiment of peace, and the idea that expression can or should be limited or contained due of a value system built out of fear and intolerance.

Most of our lives we are given what can be thought of as a safety net of ideals—paths to follow, standards to meet—to make life “easier” or conducive to the perception of others.

Rather than present ourselves the way we deem fit, the general standard is to be as the chameleon—to do whatever it takes to fit in—who blends into its surroundings for survival.

Well, for myself, I’ve learned to accept and reject that pattern as it does not allow for growth.

I’ve grown everywhere from upside down to sideways and still have come to the conclusion that no matter how hard you try, there will always be a group, a banner, many men and signs who will make it their duty to mock one’s freedom of self.

I accept myself.

Further more, I applaud myself.

I look in the mirror and examine an ever changing life force composed of trial and error, love and appreciation, a life force who has exhausted himself to live his truth, that is…well…hell if I know!

I’m still figuring that out, one moment, one step, and one portrait at a time.

Thankfully enough, I’ve been blessed by an equal partner, a beautiful guiding spirit of light and love to help nurture my venture to freedom of self—Ariel Rachel—who does not judge but embraces my eccentricities as I honor and trust full heartedly in hers.

I highly recommend letting go of inhibition, being open and honest with yourself, others, and showcasing who you are, each and every day.

Be well my friends. I look forward to seeing you for everything that you are, today, tomorrow, and in future discoveries.

(This was me, 2:25pm, August 31, 2020—happy, and holy, and released)

2:25pm, August 31, 2020—happy, and holy, and released

My words

My words, they are carried

like a seagull clenches crab

Plucked from the water

red claws pinching mad

Then dropped from the sky

to a hot pier of gull

A days hungry flock

who will never be full

Flowers

I bought these flowers

to brighten the room.

Then watch them wither

and shrivel to gloom.

Exceptional, still

they brighten the room.

In death as in life

how they still seem to bloom.

Like Wicker Passed Round Midnight’s Mass

I dare not blame the 14 Hands

for feelings I have felt

Where midnight and I meet

the moon’s shadow can’t dispel

In daylights saving grace

I justly feel that I have felt

like wicker passed round midnight’s mass

each hand is doleful dealt

Talking by her car

Talking by her car — that night

our intuition brought us together —

I never wanted to leave.

Her guiding light

What I cannot see

in the dark of night

within myself

is another’s plight,

she finds me there

her guiding light

my luminance

in the dark of night.

Where the shadow once lay

I wonder, thought the boy

where the shadow once lay

If I were a scholar

what more could I say

Where angels now rise

the devil’s at play

Curious, thought the boy

where the shadow once lay

Dancing in the distance

And when his memory faded

Dancing in the distance

Like a mirage, appeared

His destiny in heat

Arms uninhibited by the equinox

3+3+2+5

Then like clockwork

I turn my head to see

3+3+2+5

And know you’re here with me