Home » Posts tagged 'thought' (Page 32)
There has to be a better way
than all this bitter pain
and suffering that after a while
no longer feels much like
pain and suffering but rather
mute normalcy of the day
which never really fully ends
and on into the night
which never allows for proper sleep.
Perhaps a song will help
my friend, for now
I think it’s for the best.
At the end of the day
we’re all just
butthole tissue
flesh, bone, and spirits
away from the truth
if there is any, well
we’ll surely find out
at the end of the day.
So keep it clean cause
you’ll never really know
until you do, I guess.
However you get up and out of bed
or off the sidewalk
however you dig yourself
out of the grave is commendable.
And if you choose nothing
that too is just as valid
as choosing something.
I see far too many people
driving themselves mad
with work and love
and money and power
and fitness and greed and guilt
trying to fit into some sort of
idea they’re bred to believe
will fix them when really it won’t.
They don’t need to be fixed
or loved or loathed or accepted.
They just need to listen.
Listen to the air.
Listen to the ice crack when hot water hits.
Listen to the sea spray.
But I know nothing really.
All I know is what I see and what I see
is beautiful and diseased and delicate
like a rose petal or a dandelion flower
plucked from the earth by a child
in the outfield of a baseball diamond
wanting nothing more than to drift away
with the seeds he’s blown to anywhere else.
However getting out of bed
or the sidewalk or gutter is the first step
and the rest well, the rest is just —
up to you I guess.
I took all my why’s and what for’s one day
and threw em like confetti out the window
fluttering and cutting through the air
they just fell to the ground as the wind
picked up and the cars and people
mulled through the day dragging with them
my black confetti underfoot and tire
picking at em like stuck gum
confused in chaos
I watched just for a little as they disappeared
and the crowds dispersed with the morning
afternoon and night till all was quiet again
all but me shaking my unchained head
and doing a little jig with the birds.
While everyone was looking around
for celebrities and stars
I was looking at em all
and wonderin
with fire burning in my eyes
what it was they couldn’t see
that I saw so vividly in all of them.
She let herself go
in all the beautiful ways
she was destined to
As I sunk deeper under bedsheet
wanting nothing more than to disappear
alone in the darkness
She was painting all her daydreams
in pale blue watercolor
twirling her brush between strokes
Like I had watched her do
so many countless nights before
like the time she painted me nude
And I watched her beauty unfold
like a single blooming lotus flower
adrift on a swamp at dawn
We mustn’t shy away from fear
but rather dive face first
into it’s claws letting it tear our flesh
from cheek to chin and gnaw
on our skulls if not only to
release ourselves from our mind
whose eye is so often filled with fear.
When you can’t flip the script
tear it to shreds
then start to letter together
a list of demands —
whAt iM sAYIn iz
— to extort the unexpected
and accept no less
than those shreds of life
tell you to deserve.
If I don’t know what a word means
I look it up on my phone
I type “majordomo” for example
And learn that it means
“a chief steward in a large household”
And it’s that simple
It’s quite refreshing in a way
Like I’ve led myself to water and know now when to drink
What’ll it be
said the man
on the stand
to the reflection
looking very grim
sunken eyes
of redemption
come on come on
choose our next addiction
this time though
be aware
aware of my remission
I know I know
what fun is there in that
hell why don’t we find out
it’s either or perhaps
I’ve given you the right
that now I’m taking back
the will to fight the urge
I know that’s what I lack
so taking down the mirror
with no one staring back
the man poured the reflection
with ice into his glass
he calmly took a sip
one more than another
and when the glass was empty
to him it did not bother
just one more
thought the man
understanding his reflection
it’s up to you to choose
affliction or redemption.
Words Of An Average White Male 