Home » Posts tagged 'thoughts' (Page 30)
Their love before friends
as it always begins
then the world spun round
again and again.
Friends for the last
few phases of moon
the universe beckons
neither one to choose.
Spoken rather wisely
alone though in tune
while the world spun again
with nothing to lose.
Eyes look to the West
in Africa too
Eyes look to the East
this Hollywood noon.
There’s nothing to pardon
and no more to do
angelic they parted —
two drifters anew.
Your life is filled with
(secret)
quiet alcoholics
(secret)
closet drug addicts
(secret)
depressed poetics
fearful dramatics
queer heretics
aimless combatants
insufferable habits
(secret)
little bunny rabbit.
Oh, my life is full
and filling up —
sure ain’t cheap these days —
3.50 here
4.65 a gallon there, thus
I’m riding on empty,
with a flask
& letter
returns
to send her
tucked gently in the glove box
(where my secret (secret) stays).
Each drive cross country
I’ve laughed, I have
Cried
Sang
Danced
Purged
Prayed
Lost and
Loved.
Etcetera,
etc…
So if you decide
to drive across state lines,
could you do me a solid?
Stop in Fayetteville.
See if that old hotel
is still standing,
the one I first told her I loved her,
—bedbugs and us—
before sleep took her away
and that cheap wine
nursed me tender
til morning’s
cruel light.
But how will you know
that old hotel? Well,
it’s just like all the rest now
I’m sure, remodeled to dust.
Another ghost among the many,
love’s whisper in the wind.
Seven months &
Two days
since…
Nothing really makes sense,
does it? Didn’t then,
doesn’t now!
Life just goes on until it doesn’t.
Like the envy of a caterpillar
for the beauty of a butterfly.
I’ve always kind of been saying goodbye.
Even when I’ve said hello.
I’ve always meant,
Goodbye.
The only time
I was ever certain, were
the times I’d lost my mind.
But even then,
I never had a clue — I did.
To be honest
and be open
put yourself in
her hands like you’re a toy.
There’s a reason
for each season
pollen eaten
her wind cradles a boy.
They know nothing of us,
and we
know nothing of them.
We all
just sort of pretend.
We’re bitter still.
In the air there’s a bitter chill.
Like a car crash
I tell you that
it’s not too bad
we both just try not to stare.
In the glove box
there’s a snuff box
full of coupons
I keep in case that you cared.
The leaves on the ground,
remind me
how powerless that I am.
It’s natural to fall down,
we all
just sort of try to fit in.
Leave me alone, no don’t
leave me alone.
Memories fill my head
like waves
crashing down on the shore.
Just as soon as they hit
cast away
back to the ocean once more.
To be bitter
or be broken
understand that
this is for no one who ever was.
I don’t want any trouble
still you give me double
alone in this bubble
which I can’t ignore.
The trail is subtle
some bread crumbs and rubble
your sinister cuddle
remembering more.
Traumatically speaking
I guess that we’re even
transfixed in this feeling
of which I abhor.
But I found this Agate
it’s my force of habit
to deal all this crap with
your ghost I implore.
Relieve me this burden
there I’ll know for certain
whose shadow is flirting
from under the door.
For years I’ve been knocking
from inside this coffin
perhaps I’ll find out when
I dwell nevermore.
Though we both know
we’re bound evermore.
Got up this morning ahead of my time
shook fear from my hair and tears from my eyes
took to the mirror and spoke to this guy
who said he knew me from before —
it’s there that he unlocked the door.
He gave me a sunrise he gave me his hand
he told me a secret I could understand
life isn’t a journey or destination
it’s your choice to choose to buy in —
for me it’s better not to win.
So I sharpened my memory and tore out his tongue
recycled the organ from which I’d dislodged
filled it with the secret and sealed it shut
if X marks the spot then I’m fine —
love’s just footnotes in nursery rhyme.
Connecting the dots which soon filled my head
aligned with ideas I spoke with each step
life ain’t no cake walk or deal with respect
it’s your throat or mine well of course —
I’d take mine to spare you the course.
It’s kill or be killed so I’m on my knees
no fear any longer just tranquility
it’s obvious ain’t it half hearted pity
runs deep like the roots of despair —
no one’s got the cure or should dare.
So with that in mind one swift hit should do
a hole in the head hell it ain’t nothing new
I was head over heals now I’m sinking through
the clouds which look soft from afar —
at the end of this there’s only dark.
With all things considered it’s lovely I guess
like spilled paint confetti this hole in my chest
I’ve dug it before since third grade I guess
my actions speak louder than words —
it’s all been a blessing and curse.
I often wish
we’d create more.
Other times
I just aim
to quit all that
bullying.
Mostly
we fade to black.
Words Of An Average White Male 